Volunteering

OffTheGrid

The Grid Sucks

by Vonia Martin

Why are we so hooked on the grid? It's this concept that prevents us from truly being sustainable.

All you need is a bunch of batteries and solar panels oh and the sun. Some how some one needs to figure out how to implement an alternator into the equation I think it could work. Just like in a car, the alternator could help charge the batteries when the meter is moving. Meter or something to tell the alternator to start charging, keeping the batteries always full so you have power into the night.

Granted, batteries aren't the greatest for the environment either but lets face it life isn't good for the environment. You don't need the grid for this but you don't get an oven or drier unless they run on propane, which they do have.

Indigenous People

The People Earth Owns

by Vonia Martin

First, I want to say how truly sorry I am to be a white person, how ashamed of my ancestors I am. White people are almost completely to blame for the state of the world today and American white people are to blame for all that is called 'progress'.  Well, maybe England has had a bigger hand in the beginning of the end for life as we know it. All for what? Money, gold, power? In the name of what? All that is ugly and horrible? Who made white people? Satan? As a race we have single handedly enslaved Africans and brought them to America where we all but eradicated an entire race of Indigenous people, the Native Americans. Not to mention what we did to the tribes in Canada. My soul is sick with what we have done to this planet and the animals that use to thrive here. 

We do nothing to stop global warming while the Indigenous people all over the world are trying everything they can to save this planet but lets face it the damage is done. We have over fished, over hunted, over grown, and over populated the planet with an enormous amount of stupid, disrespectful people.    

Foster Families Not Children

Keep Kids With Their Families

By V. Martin

The last thing we should be doing is removing children from their homes, separating them from their family. Instead the whole family should be put in foster care until they are ready to stay together. They should take classes and go to therapy to work out whatever their problems are. They may want to take some classes on parenting and how to handle money responsibly to relieve some of the stress that comes with poverty. Kids without families is unacceptable no one will ever take better care of a child than their family. Mostly I am referring to older children in the foster care system what kind of chance do they have? Everything should be done to keep them from entering the system. Then after all other options are exhausted only then will it even be considered as an option. When an older child is abandoned they have no choice but to believe it’s them so the whole family needs to be involved so the child knows it’s not them. It’s their parents, so we need to treat the whole family.

To My Sisters and Brothers in Foster Care(the People Pound)

More From The People Pound

by Vonia Martin

My fellow foster care kids, that can at least read. I realize the state tries to keep you all separated from one another but I believe this is a mistake. Who better can understand these kids then other foster children? In the past this was cause for concern thinking you all would be a bad influence on one another and in part that might be true. Under a structured and loosely supervised group meetings for at risk youth around the community might actually help everyone. You should be involved in your community, where ever you are, the more involved you get the more they will want to keep you around. Make yourself necessary, volunteer to help people around you, if they won't let you be an opportunist and help where ever you see the need. Very few people will reject your aid if in that moment they have no choice, that does not mean go about creating the need so don't go there. If no one needs your help immediately maybe find a shelter or soup kitchen, what ever it is find something that you can give back to the communities you are staying in. There is nothing more empowering, other then quitting something your addicted to, then helping others less fortunate then you. Yes, you are headed to being the person in need that is why you're putting in the time while you still have a place to live. Any way meet more people like you, start a network of foster kids, for foster kids. It sucks that you don't have a cell phone but I'm hoping to change that but first you all need to make sure you know how to read because it's all about the texting.

If you are a foster kid that has committed crimes and still are; stop. If you are under age come clean on the crimes you've committed to your case worker. If you listened to me you are already doing community service so you may not have to spend time in juvie but if you do you do. Do your time but help others while your there always look to help other no matter what fucked up situation you find yourself in. Not only will it give you purpose it will help the time pass faster and you may get out early, if you want to. Try not to get institutionalized no matter how long your in and helping others is a good way to pass time. Exercise, no matter what find a way to work out, run, walk, jog just do something, spend your time wisely. Have the greatest positive impacted on those around you.

Remember, you are better then everyone else so act like it. Don't let others drag you down and don't let the fact that you have no family strip you of all self worth. Family isn't always the one you are born to, sometimes we have to piece it together from what others tossed aside. Help one another not just other foster kids but everyone. First other foster kids because like you they have only you, show them the way, lead by example. Always be the example not the exception. You are already exceptional you have survived what most could not. We are not meant to be sacrificed we are meant for greatness so it's time to act like it. No one is as strong, no one is as flexible, no one is as tough; mentally and emotionally then some one who's been through life with no one. With the exception of veterans. We should not be the go to pool for suspects in crimes, we should be the ones out there stopping our bothers and sisters from going over the edge and giving in to what everyone believes about us. It is our duty to break free of t prejudices about whom they deem disposable. Be your brother’s keeper, we need to reach out to one another and find strength, not in our numbers because we are the minority but that's only because we die before we reach 21. A lot of us by our own hands. Stop with the suicide and the false confessions no matter how much society deserves it for falsely accusing you and badgering you into a confession, don't. Turn around and offer to help them find the one who did it, if they would care to do so but under no circumstance do you admit to something you didn't do. It's hard to do when you've been conditioned your whole people pound life to do just that. It's so much easier to just confess and give them what they want and the fact that the real criminal is still out there only makes you sleep better at night. The reason why the kids in the people pound are the go to suspect pool is because cops know they can get a confession out of them. Case closed. You get a place to live three meals, structure, security, and finally you can meet all your brothers or sisters. 

You may wonder why I'm telling you all this, it is for your own good, first of all. Second of all I'm tired of society using us to clean up their messes and then practically putting the gun in our hands so we blow our own head off before we get to being to big of a burden on society. If you're in prison now for something you didn't do you better start making some noise because no one cares but me and I am the same as you, no one. I do know one thing, silence is not the answer. I have a big mouth and it only gets louder the more people tell me to shut up because I hit a nerve. Society is ashamed of the piss poor job they are doing at turning us into productive citizens. They want you to believe that other people in your situation has come out alright so what's your problem? The people that they refer to are adopted babies, they actually stand a chance, older kids, not so much. Don't let them make you feel bad if you haven't been able to put all this night mare has to offer in perspective, you are not alone. All I can tell you is that you are better so act it, don't let them take that away from you, be proud of who you are, be the better person. Show everyone just what you are made of; survival is the key. Stay alive long enough for me to figure this out. I have a few demons of my own that I'm putting to bed so I can put myself in a position to help you. You are the reason I've made it this far, against all odds, you are the reason I live now, you are all my children and I love you so much it hurts. If I only had a wider arm span, I would gather you all to me and even if you fight me, I would take it, knowing it's just your fear. You can let that go, they can only hurt you if you let them. Be your own person, you need no one to teach you how to be a better person so start practicing. Hold your head high and no matter what don't let them take your pride because it is the one thing you have that will drive them crazy. Never let them see your vulnerabilities always act like you don't need them no matter how badly you do. Build the biggest baddest wall around yourself you can and only let those that are like you in. Believe me the best revenge is the one they don't see coming. Take from them their precious suspect pool stop letting them entrap you into being the scape goat. They will use your desperate need to fit in against you if you let them, don't, nine out of ten times they are setting you up to take the fall for something they did. They can only do this if they think you need them, don't. If there are adults abusing you in any way, suck it up because the next situation will only be worse. Soon they will move you any way. Times are changing, our world is changing and only the strong will survive, people that are preconditioned for what's to come is you and me. They may not realize it but we are the ones that will inherit the earth once no one else can survive on it. 

We may appear weak now but that is about to change and we won't ever treat anyone the way we've been treated, we will come up with a better way to honor our most fortunate people without the confines of a family. Family is just another way to keep us from fully reaching our potential. Give me all the people I can to form myself by, the more people you have to pick and choose from the better. From experience, there is't a whole lot that people show you that you will want to take on for yourself. Be patient find those whom you can admire and respect, study them and take on for yourself those qualities you deem valuable, the ones that will make you an even better human being than you already are. 

Please, what ever you do, don't let them win, don't become a statistic. Don't let them win you are better then that and I need you. Each and everyone has value beyond what you see and feel and way beyond what you are told. That's not enough, it will never be enough. As a disposable person you will have to prove your worth each and everyday, you will have to walk the line like no one else because they will be watching and waiting for you to fall. Don't let them fool you, they have no intentions of catching you. Just like all the other lies you've been told they have no intentions of catching you as soon as you let go they will step aside letting you hit the ground. Not to worry, if you follow my instructions you'll just fall through the trap door you installed when you got there. Honesty drives people crazy, they don't expect you to throw their words back in their face when you catch them in a lie. As you know people feel obligated to lie to you, like you don't know the truth when you hear it, it's because you do that you feel there is no reason to go on if all you are going to get is lied to. My first rule is no foster child should be lying, it's beneath you. Your honesty will piss people off because they think how dare you, a disposable person be better then them. Fuck them you are better that's why you dare. They need you more then you do them. It's only through making you feel bad and reminding you that you have no one and nothing that they can feel good about themselves, that is not the kind of person you are. You help people, you lift them up when they are down and at great sacrifice to yourself. Always be for the under dog the weaker, less fortunate. I know you will feel like that is you but it's not if you are to survive because they will try to take you down, get you to kill yourself before you can become a greater burden on society.  Don't let their prejudice end you. 

When the shit hits the fan, as our world changes, it is going to the strong ones to bring order to chaos. It's going to take those that have already been through and survived the worse the "best" of us has to throw at us. Please hang in there, I'm taking the steps I need to for you. All of you are my priority, you are whom I'm living for, working for. With any luck and a lot of hard work, I will always be there for you with a home you will always be welcome because it will be your home, one no one can take from you but one you have to leave it to kids like you.

Another Empty Blog

Not as Empty As a Foster Kid

By Vonia Martin

Please excuse me while I attempt to walk a mile in a foster child’s shoes. I know I keep bringing up the subject but I just can’t get over how horrible things can be for these children. It’s not just that they have no family, they have no hope.  What is a life without, literally every thing? Do any of us really know what that means? Imagine what your life would be like with no family, no home, no where to turn, no one on your side? Where is the hope in that? These are just some of the larger then life things you're missing but what about the countless little things that make up a human being? It's these nameless traits, gestures, expressions, mannerisms, old wives tales, empathies, nurturing, ways we take on for ourselves we get from our families without a word being spoken. How we carry ourselves and present ourselves to the world, confidence, self preservation, and so much more that there isn't even words for because we just do it, following our parent's lead. Without a father you have little hope of learning about respect; self and for others. A girl without self respect is an easy target for many to take advantage of, sexually. So there you have it just a small portion of what life is like for one of the disposable people. As a society we love disposable things, we purposely make single use stuff our land fills are full of them. Our tolerance for these things should not exist nor should it tolerate throwing children into a system that doesn't foster shit, let alone children.
When you are a foster child everything reminds you that you are less then a person. All the shows on TV tell you family is everything, there for you have nothing. Who gives us value? Who sticks up for you no matter what? Who stops the predators from taking advantage? Without family you are no one and everyone treats you like you are a piece of shit, that some won’t even acknowledge you as a human being. Others resent you for being alive, to them you are a waste of flesh that doesn't deserve anything but the scraps society so generously throws at you. Then beat the day lights out of you if you don’t act like the monster they perceive you to be. If it weren’t for the fact that I am cute and men want to stick their penises in me I wouldn’t be alive. If it weren’t for egomaniacs that think they are doing me a favor by using me for sex and degradation, I might have some self respect. Survival can make you compromise a lot. As most survivors will question the trade off. Is surviving the most important thing? What about self respect? What about being true to yourself? It goes out the window when you are faced with not just death but the torture that occurs prior to death. These kids don't even have the ability to get a drivers license, who is going to teach them to drive? Who's going to insure them? Why not get a bus pass? With what money? A lot of these kids run away before they are 18 knowing their time is up it is their only way to claim some control over their own lives. Especially the boys because they have to register with selective service, it's the law. In a foster boys mind at 18 he will be braking the law not being able to register without an address to register with. So they hit the streets avoiding any contact with the law. These kids usually have no ID again no address and probably no birth certificate or social security card.
Things are changing, slowly, for these people but the best way we can serve them is to keep children with their families. The last thing we should be doing is creating more of the same. The whole family should be put in foster care that way everyone can learn what a functioning family looks and acts like. The foster family should mirror the troubled one in every way except behavior. The Moms should be in a room together with their daughters and the same for the men and their sons. No one should be alone with anyone member of either family, 3 or more should be the rule, for everyones safety. We have TV shows about the miracle nanny what about the miracle foster family? Talk about reality try a foster kid’s reality? Liability is a bitch when no one is liable. All I know is we need to try different things for different families. First we need to listen to everyone in the family, individually and collectively before coming up with a game plan to treat the family as a whole, no one should be separated. When we take a kid away from their family that child thinks they are to blame, it is their fault their family is being put through hell. It doesn't matter how many beatings they have endured because those are their fault too so we only amplify these feelings and add a few worse ones by ripping them from all they have ever known. Rarely, do these kids get treated any better in foster care. I am probably preaching to the choir so out of touch am I with the times. As long as something is being done to get these numbers lowered especially the teen pregnancy and suicide rate.
The suicide rate among  the police, foster kids(CES), veterans, and Native Americans. is staggering, most don't make it to their 21st birthday. Not of the 400,000 but of the 40,000-50,000 that age out of the system or run away before they do. These people are at higher risk for human traffickers, perverts, murder, suicide, pedaphiles(I thinks that's how to spell that) and false confessions. Not to mention at higher risk to leave behind more foster kids when they disappear or die. Sex becomes a way of life for these people because what else do they have? Nothing. So it's at least a means to an end or the end to the mean. There is no end to the mean, mean seems to live forever inside the heart of its victims.
These people are pre trained and conditioned to take the blame for shit they didn’t do! Our prisons are full of them! Where else are you going to go? You have no home or family, you live on the streets.
There is nothing humane about foster care or the way society treats these kids. Some are very troubled but who wouldn't be? I don't mean to blame foster families, they may not have the means to care for them after 18 but who will? Our prisons and mental institutions? If a kid aging out of the system has no car, phone, ID, skills, home, or family what are they suppose to do? No one will hire you, even if you could get around to find a job, not without a social security number and an ID or address or phone. All they can do is go stand in line at the work force places, if there is one close by. Really that's all these kids can do is fill the jobs our illegal immigrants use to do. At least it's something.
I watch a lot of crime shows on TV and every single one of them uses foster kids as there suspect pool first. Why? Because they get the most confessions from this group of people. My problem is that I don't believe they all did it, I believe they falsely confess. These kids have been taking the blame for everything since they were abandoned by their families. Foster parents usually have their own kids and it's so much easier for them to set up the foster kid to take the blame and their parents are eager to believe it too. No matter how much the foster kid denies it, no matter what the proof is that clears them they will be blamed. Eventually you give up trying, you just admit to things you didn't do, it's easier that way. After foster care they find themselves on the street, homeless, until they get picked up by the police. All of a sudden they have a roof over their head and three meals a day, not bad in the eyes of a foster child. Who cares that their confessions leave criminals on the street, not them, not after the interrogation they went through. In the kids eyes it's what society deserves for abandoning them completely on their eighteenth birthday and then use them to get a false confession.
Most of these kids have been used for whatever purpose, mostly sex, to the point even they believe that's all they are good for. A lot of them are so desperate for love they don't even know what is happening to them is wrong. Foster children have a warped sense of what is appropriate because what is done to them isn't. If a foster child has enough nerve or sense of right and wrong to question what is being done to them they are made to regret that.
There are 400,000 + children entering the foster care system each and every year and this number hasn't changed much over the years. Why? My theory is that foster children have children and some where along the way the parents get killed or kill themselves. They had no family and now their kids have no family so into the system they go. Not the entire 400,000 will age out, most will go back to their families only a fraction say 40,000 to 50,000 won't find a forever home and of them most will run away before 18. Foster children are easily tortured by the foster families real children, kids can be very cruel. If given an opportunity they can convince the foster kid that at 18 they will have to leave. As soon as the state cuts off the money they will no longer be welcome. Foster kids lose their voice a few years into the nightmare that has become their life besides no one listens. It's the lack of an audience to hear their cries that at first hurts the most so you get louder it's then you realize they can hear you just fine they are choosing not to listen. So you stop trying to be heard, you learn to suck it up, store all the pain some where deep inside yourself so not even you knows where it is. Until you do. Even if they don't, keeping it all on the surface only enrages the people around you. They think; how dare you? The nerve some of these kids have! They really think they should be treated the same as everyone else! Don't they know their family has abandoned them? That because of my kindness and generosity they have a place to sleep. Sure it maybe in a kennel with the family dog but what do they expect? To sleep with my children? Oh hell no they aren't really people anyway, their family had a reason for tossing them aside. You keep telling yourself that. You have to sleep with one eye opened or risk the unthinkable being done to you in your sleep. So you see sleeping in a kennel with the family dog isn't so bad.
My idea was that I could handle the abuse way more then I could tolerate watching someone else get molested, raped, or worse. I was always sticking up for the under dog I just never realized I was the under dog. Being a foster kid didn't stop me from pointing out any and all injustices I endured. I also questioned authority at every turn, daring them to do what they say when I knew all the while they were lying. People like to blow smoke up your ass when they have no one to answer to. It must be human nature to raise yourself up by putting some one less fortunate down. There isn't anyone lower than a foster kid. They also find it really easy to to take what ever they want from you since they don't have to answer to anyone. For example; the fifth foster home I was in was a Polish family with 3 daughters of their own the youngest was 14 when I went to live with them. I was 10 years old. With all their daughters going to the same high school so the whole family befriended a Japanese foreign exchange student, I can't remember his name. When his mother came to visit him she wanted to meet the whole family, me included. Come to find out she was quite wealthy and as a sign of her appreciation she bought every one a ring with their birth stone, me included! For the first time in my life someone thought of me as an equal, as deserving, as appreciated, as good as any human being. There were no words to explain how amazing that made me feel. Then she handed me this little pink satin pouch and inside was a ruby ring. It was small compared to everyone else but I knew size didn't matter, my birthstone was ruby a precious stone. None of theirs were a precious stone so my small ruby surrounded by gold was worth more then their big gaudy rings. As soon as I took it off to play with play dough, one of my foster sisters was right there and told on me so the mom took my ring and put it on her pinkie! She wore it there from that time on, torturing me all the while. When I left she kept my ring and probably still has it.
Nothing is really yours when you are a foster child, not even your own ideas. 

The last place I was in was in Phoenix was a shelter and as soon as my adopted mother disowned me all the girls came qand beat me up and stole my clothes, shoes, and jewelry. For the rest of the time I was there I had to watch other girls wearing my stuff. They weren't made to give them back because who would? It wasn't the first time every thing I had has come up missing only to reappear on someone else. Luckily, the system moves you ever six months or so when you're in the system.  

You are never treated the same by anyone. Its’s crazy but its like society has a subconscious and its constantly telling you you are not good enough, no one wants you, no one values you, so why don’t you just die? What do you have to offer society? A burden, a future criminal? Even if you have talent in any of the sciences or arts, no one will ever know it, not even you. Some people believe that these things, we  like intelligence, for example will some how win the day. I beg to differ, environment, habit, DNA, survival, practice, peer pressure all play apart in shaping a foster kid’s life. Only if the rest of the word wants to hear your message and from you. 

When you come from no where with nothing you are a no good a criminal. You cannot and should not be trusted! Exactly what it is anyone thinks we are going to do I do not know because we are the first ones everyone turns to to blame. No one listens to us when we tell the truth no matter how hard we try, we are liars. So no one tells us the truth and they do not even care if we know it because we do. 

We come in I all shapes, sizes, colors, and beliefs just like everyone else. There is no disquishing feature to separate us from the rest yet we are. We are isolated, if we survive the system, by those who say they are “helping” us. 

When in fact they are just helping themselves to whatever they can get from us. Why not, we do not need anything nor want for anything so take it all. People that have survived the system, wether they aged out or ran away, have a unique perspective on things. We see things that most people cannot but when we share this knowledge it is almost always taken from us. Some of it I can understand, especially if it is to help others, but some of it is to make a profit and I have a problem with that. Foster kids do not want to have to ask for everything, they would rather earn it like everyone else. However, when you suffer from mental illness, drug addiction, personality defects, and many other disorders it is really hard to hold down a job. Then there is the housing problem, without an address you cannot even accept benefits if you qualify to receive them. Most foster kids do not want any help from the state or government because they make you feel like less then a person. They seem to recent you for needing help even though that is what they are there for. It is very confusing and in the end you cannot trust them anyway, they too seem to want you to kill yourself rather then be the burden you are. No one wants to be a burden so we avoid the system and any help they may offer. 

I wish I had all the answers because things are not improving for the young adults aging out. They still have no one. How can I make a difference to these people? I’m in no better shape then they are, except I have a job and a place to live. I just wish my “boyfriend” would let me have a few foster kids but he won’t. He won’t let me do anything worth while, telling me that I cannot make a difference. I think he is afraid that I might make a difference before he is able to take the credit, like he does with everything else I think of. It is so frustrating. I cannot even have a conversation with him for fear I will let something slip. I mean who has to constantly watch what they say because their “boyfriend” will steal it from you and make it his own? I do that’s who! It sucks because I trusted him because he was a teacher. I foolishly thought that when I told him one of my ideas that he was giving me credit for them at his school but he wasn’t. He took my ideas and past them off as his own and my words too. I cannot believe what a liar he is! When I finally realized what he was doing he retired from teaching. He doesn’t even bother denying what he has done, no, he just tells me that it does not matter since he is not making a bunch of money with them. What a jerk! I thought teachers were some of the few people foster kids could trust but I was way wrong, they take from us like everyone else. Of course no one will believe me because they do not want to. Most likely, everyone has a part in what happens to foster kids, directly or indirectly and none of it is good or for the kid. 

Society is very skilled at getting us to kill ourselves because no one makes it alone in this world and everyone will make sure you do not. More then that they will try to see you kill yourself rather then let you become a burden. It would be really helpful if those of you with family could just for a minute imagine what your life would look like without anyone. What if instead of living with your mom and dad you were given up to the state to raise? What if this happened when you were old enough to know what was happening? How would you feel being made to live with strangers? What if after a few foster homes they decide to take all you have left of your family and remove you brother who you do not see again for 8 years? How would you react when finally being adopted after 6 more years of foster care only to be disowned after only 2 years of being adopted? Do you have any idea what you would do with no one in your corner? These are a few things you would have to think about and survive if you had no one. Try to imagine how exhausting it is to not have anyone, to always be on guard watching your front and back all the time.

Education vs Experience

Words VS Actions

                                                       by Vonia Martin

Ever since I can remember I have wanted desperately to believe what people told me. Lying and deception didn't make sense to me so it didn't occur to me that other people would do it like breathing. Especially to the people they claim to love the most. That is because those people are more likely to see through your bullshit, or are they. The closer some one is to you the less likely they will want to see the truth about you, so invested are they in the façades we project . 

Educated people don't want an uneducated person to come in with more knowledge than them because they lived through it rather than read about or studied it from books. Experience is some thing education can never give or teach that is why it is considered to be equivalent, if not better but at least as equally valuable. Experience, however, does not always educate. It takes a conscience effort to learn from experience but to learn that the knowledge from that experience is only as good as the ability to apply to real life, is something else all together. 

Get your mind around that one. hahaha 

If I can act my way into believing I'm a normal person, worthy of all that the world has to offer, then there isn't anything I can't fucking do! Because my life has been anything but normal. Yet here I am, the most normal person I know. For some reason, my arrogance has allied with my sense of self preservation and together they have created me, invincible. Not to brag or any thing but I have lived through what MOST PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE! More then wanting to believe someone, I want someone to believe in me. Why does it seem that everyone wants to take from me? What is it that people make it their mission in life to fuck with mine? Just because I act like I don’t need them when I do? Just because I have a high IQ and no one wants to believe it doesn’t make it any less so. My DNA backs me up on this having only 239 Neanderthal variants in my DNA which is less then 87%  then everyone else.  My hablogroup is rare also fewer then 1 in 2,300 have the same maternal line as me. So when I claim to have a high IQ I can back it up. I can also write with either hand or both at the same time. My left writes backward right to left printing not cursive. My right hand writes normal left to right and both at the same time if I want. Who else can do that? I didn’t even know I could until 23 and me asked if I could. Some DNA marker perhaps? That I’m not sure but I’ve always used both hands but was forced to be right handed but I’m left hand dominate.
Everyone thinks I’m stupid because I give my ideas away but that’s only because I have no people to validate or stand up for me against anyone.  Most people assume they aren’t my ideas anyway so they just steal them from me. Justifying it because they think I stole it from someone which is bullshit. My IQ should speak for itself but even intelligent people, whom I always hoped would be above such petty bullshit, they ain’t. So you IQ people need to give me my real IQ and apologize to me for stealing it from me just because it was higher then yours! I didn’t cheat like you say I did. All I did was pay attention and because of that I get a high IQ score that you took from me and called me a cheater to my adopted Mom who disowned me three years later. I aged out of the system and had a life expectancy of a whole 21 years because no one thought I was smart enough to live this long. Well I’m not as a matter of fact I did everything short of killing myself  to live up to those expectations but for some reason life wants me here. Go figure. I am 51 now so I’ve out lived my expiration date. Not only that I am smart enough to trick my brain into thinking it’s younger then it is. Smart enough to know the truth when I hear it. It’s so rare that I do it almost makes me cry. No one bothers telling you the truth when there is no one for the liars to answer to for lying. So I stopped listening(even though my assessment test says I am an expert listener) so I couldn’t be lied to any more. What I do believe is actions they tell me everything about a person, do their actions match their words? If not they are lying. Liars think they are believable when they’re not because they do not hear what the truth sounds like so rare have they spoke it. Really only honest people get to hear the ring the truth has when spoken so it drives liars crazy that they can’t. Because they lie they will just assume you are so they continue to lie even when you don’t believe them.
Back to experience vs education. After my last quest for higher learning I would say fuck education learn to teach yourself! Only through my own experience will I find the truth, all others lie even the educated.

In short experience is an education one that we never stop learning from.

Neutrinos/Quarks

Could They Be Quarks?

by Vonia Martin

I don't pretend to be a scientist or anything else but could neutrinos be quarks? 

Bragging

Is A Desperate Attempt For Attention

By Vonia Martin 

When does some one finally notice how fantastic you are? Is anyone ever going to take the time to just observe your greatness? The way you go about doing things and the different possibilities as to why should keep some one very busy.  Does it ever occur to them to just ask you?  Some day and hopefully by then you will still remember why. Too long can be just as impossible as too soon ago. Some where in the middle lies your memory is that the right lye? Hummm Anyway, if it is lie that is interesting in itself in that you never thought about it before but you’re sure some one else already has. 

If it’s a different lie or lay we’ll try to forgive your improper grammar.  Some days you just know other days you know nothing. What dictates which or who shows up isn’t necessarily influenced by your drug use or now the lack there of.  Although the first could be directly linked to your lack of short term memory. Like I have completely forgot what point I was trying to make. At 51 my attention span is a fraction of what it should be, or so you would think. When I’m ready to think about it I will and this can take years in some cases even decades. You let nothing go no matter how remote or obscure  It’s place in the universe will be reverled to you in due time. 

I needed to post pictures of my temperature all on different random days or nights over the past 4-6 months. 

Obviously, these are in no particular order as far as to which came first except they are most likely backward latest first. I have another thermometer but it needs batteries.

I’ll get around to it eventually but this is what I have so far.  

My core temp is a lot lower then the average by about 2 degrees. What this means I have no idea but there it is. I also have detached lobes and an extra nipple. One of my eyes is bigger then the other and they change color. I'm self diagnosed dyslexic. I was naturally left handed but was made to be right handed this what I believed to cause my disorder. This is becoming more and more true with no markers or varients for dyslexia that means it is an environmental.

Retirement; prison or death?

I Try Not To But I Can't Seem To Help It

by Vonia Martin

Back to the foster care problem. It occurred to me that the reason the majority of these people end up in prison or dead is because they have no home. Once they turn 18 they are on their own. With no job or cell phone and no car, perhaps no high school diploma, what choices are left to them? When they fall on hard times, wait that is their whole life; hard. They have no one to turn to if they need help. No one to ask advise from that has only their well being in mind. No one to stand up for them when some one attempts to defraud or steel from them. No one to welcome them home when they need a safe place to go when they have no where else. No one to protect them from people that will hurt them, not even themselves. No one to tell them the truth no matter what. No one to be on their side or to gauge themselves by. No one to give them a reason to be a good person.  No one to stick up for them when they are too weak to do it themselves. No one to back them up when they're telling the truth but it appears that they're not. No one to cheer them on and make sure they get their reward when they win. No one to confirm that what they claim to be theirs remains theirs.
Without family you have no one, you are nothing and you are reminded of that everyday of your life. You are painfully aware that you do not get the same treatment or opportunities as everyone else. What you get is blamed for everything bad that happens, wether you had anything to do with it or not.  If anything good comes from you it will be projected onto someone else because there is no way anything positive is ever going to come from you. The third way you get treated is as a thief because if you have a good idea you must have stolen it from someone else. There for, they can take it from you without the least bit of credit going your way. The credit will go to someone else or just taken from you because you are lying or stealing, or both.

With nothing and no one these people do not stand a chance. There is no way to give these kids what they are missing, family wise. Or is there. What if we provided them with a home? Every state should have to provide these people with a safe place to live once they are out of the foster care system. They should not be going from foster care to the prison system without even a possibility of anything else. No wonder a lot of them commit suicide before 21. If you think there is a better answer to this problem please let it be known because no one should be disposable. These people are. So if you are without people you are nothing have nothing and you will remain that way if society has anything to do with it because you simply aren't good enough. No one is going to encourage you or clear a path for you or defend you against injustices. You have to find your own way without even an idea belonging to you, it is at society's mercy that you even exist. So forgive them when they take all that is left to you; your mind.
You know you are alone when the idea you had, to save countless lives, that you tried to get everyone interested in helping you with is now someone elses. Yet when someone else pitches the same idea only calling it something else everyone jumps on board. Not one person will stand up for you not even your adopted mother to claim your idea and get compensated for it. Anyone with a family and they would be going to court to testify on your behalf.

These are things that foster kids deal with on a daily basis never getting a fair shake. So, why wouldn't they kill themselves before 21? WOULDN'T YOU? Why would you want to continue to live would be a shorter list for these people to answer. The government has tried everything it can think of to try to change the future for these people but they are falling short.
Foster kids beget more foster kids. When your projected life span is 21 and you're pregnant where do you think your child is headed? Foster care! When you have no one having someone that is going to have no one too is not the answer. At first you may think so but stop to think for a minute. If you have no one in your life and you have children then something happens to you where do you think your children are going to go? Don't do that to them, do not procreate, you are dooming that child to the same life you are so desperate to escape. Without a family people don't do too well but can survive but without a home people don't have what it takes to stay out of prison. Prison always takes you, never do they turn you away. Prison becomes like their parent, always there when they need them. Prison becomes home to foster people and for some is safer than foster care. Really what choice do they have for retirement; prison or death? Excuse me I'm forgetting the institutions, they always welcome the disposable people. It seems to me a lot of these places exist for these unwanted ones.
What if some how we figure out away to give these people a home to go to no matter what? What if they had a place to go after they age out of the system? What if this place helped them get back on their feet to go forth into the world with the tools it takes to succeed? Some how these people need to be the caretaker and owner of this home for themselves and others like them. How to set they a land know they have a stake in the place they call home. If foster children were given a safe place to call their own, one they are going to pass down to more disposable people so they won't be disposable any more. The idea is to get them invested in this place but not rooted, the idea is to prepare them to leave the nest. They, like all of us, must go forth into the world to make it a better place but if they should stumble or falter this place called home is always open to them if they need it. The disposable ones are already minus a family why do they have to continually be without a home too? The point too is to help them realize their potential for being responsible, tax paying citizens, ones that the community is proud of because everyone is invested in their future. It would be a lot cheaper then prison and since they(prisons) are on the stock market they(foster kids) should invest in their future now so they might own it one day.
Seriously, if I was a criminal I would be investing my ill gotten gains into my future; prisons. There is something significantly wrong with society when we are betting against reform and putting our money into the prisoners coming back. This is how society decides to get some of it's money back on the disposable people that refuse to be disposed of.
If you happen to be one of the ones for whom I speak; listen up. It's time to step up and be better than everyone else around you, now that they have taught you how not to be show them what a real human being stands for. It's really easy; be honest and true to yourself and others like you. It doesn't matter their skin color or what god they worship. If they don't have family, through no fault of their own, they have family now; you. You and the rest of us like them, famililess.(funny how there is no word for what no one should be without) From this moment on we must be each others family. We must stand up for one another, not stab each other in the back. We must help everyone but first each other. We will not be offended by those who express distrust no matter what we do to prove our trust worthiness. We trust each other, no questions asked we give each other what everyone else denies us; the benefit of the doubt. We don't ever break that trust because all we have in this world is our word and if that is worthless then so are we. We defend and stand up, legally in court if necessary,  for one another. One of us has had to become a lawyer by now, if not someone better get to it because you will come to be the disposable peoples counsel.  Until then, there has to be an attorney out there that will not let the defenseless, disposable people keep sacrificing themselves like they've been taught, remain doing so just so a few people can make money by betting on a minorities future. Especially when the minorities are Americans, where's their warehouse? Why aren't they warehoused, fed, clothed, educated, entertained, and waiting amongst their own kind(some have no family to take them from so no one to answer to) for the life people come from all over the world to live? Free. Because no such better life awaits them, most don't ever get a driver's license because by the time they are old enough to get one they have no address to have it sent to. They drive anyway because they have to for work but eventually they will get pulled over and so starts the habitual failure to appears in court because you still don't have one. Rather then tell the judge your situation(it's embarrassing and degrading to admit you have no one it has always rejected badly on you) because here at last is someone who can show you mercy if only you could ask. Pride can be a wicked thing and it's tricky to live by it and not die by it as well. Don't look at me for someone to role yourself after. I may look good at first but like a black hole if you get too close I'll suck you in never to be seen the same again. What does come out is something we don't recognize as what we lost so we give it a different name so it looses all it's previous knowledge or so it is to us. Like a computer life keeps everything on disc, hard drives, servers, and the cloud a lot of places to look. The more you know of the address to the information you are trying to bring up the quicker, more exact information on that subject you'll receive. People
The home they are initially given will be a dust bowl with little potential for anything more. Let's face it, no one wants them to succeed and become self sustaining, proving everyone wrong.  Most people have too much riding on them failing. If they succeed it's like admitting they are better than everyone else because they took a no win situation and turned it into a win win.  Don't let their insecurities run or ruin you but don't let the belief in yourself become arrogance, remain humble if you know how. We need to build a community all to ourselves that practices real humanity, real sustainability, and real honest people. Honesty is never disposable so as long as you're honest you are applicable because the truth is only ugly when it's masked with lies. We need not reward the truth. We need to reclaim the truth from the liars by calling it what it is; honesty. Honestly, the truth doesn't hurt, the fact that we even say that makes us liars. The truth doesn't set us free, either. Ask any Native American or African American. The truth isn't meant to set us free, it is meant to anchor us. It is meant to make us responsible humans, responsible for what we leave behind when we go. What kind of foot print do you want your children to follow in? Or in the generations to come to die in?

When you are a foster kid nothing belongs to you. No matter how old you get or how many jobs you've worked to earn what you have it is never really yours. Any one can come along and help themselves to whatever you have and not because they want it it's just so you don't have it. Even the people closest to you won't let you have more than they want you to so you learn not to want anything. You can't expose even the thinnest slice of yourself not to anyone, ever. It's pretty exhausting to always be on alert to always sleep with one eye open and fully dressed everything ready to go at a moment notice. The worst is that no one notices or cares all they concern themselves with is what they are going to get from you. Usually, it's sex, really what else do you have? If you're lucky, looks. The only way I survived was on my back. No one cared about anything else except how they were going to fuck me. It's gotten to the point that the thought of sex makes me sick to my stomach. All the times I din't want to but did any way so they wouldn't rape me. What kind of a fucked up person becomes willing so she can't be raped any more?
Another thing, foster kids don't usually commit crimes. I know it seems that they would be out there stealing and pillaging but they don't do that kind of thing, mainly because its done to them. The main reason I know they aren't the one committing crimes it is becuse they have no friends. Friends are the ones you commit crimes with, the ones that talk you into it in the first place, friends are the ones that get you into trouble. They talk you into things you normally wouldn't even consider. Orphans can be influenced easily, however, so crime isn't completely off the table and lets face it most kids talk each other into stupid shit like stealing. Since most orphans don't have friends some one posing as one could influence them into becoming a criminal but for the most part they ask for what they need. Begging is a solo sport so orphans gravitate to that more then stealing.

Disposable People

Foster Kids

by Vonia Martin (aka V)

Lately, I've been researching the statistics on foster children. What happens to these people once they age out of the system? Nothing good from what I understand. The chances of these people graduating college, oh hell, even high school are very slim. At eighteen they are homeless because the state considers them an adult, so no more assistance. Who cares that they have no drivers license, the state won't be liable for an accident? Who cares that they have no job, if they do it's an after school one? Who cares that they, if they are lucky, just finished high school and are homeless? Who cares that they have no cell phone, who's going to pay the bill? Certainly not the foster parents and not the tax payers so no phone for them. Let's see, that about covers the obvious obstacles. Did I mention that these kids have no one? No one they can count on to always be on their side. No one to turn to with things go bad or they get into trouble.  They are literally and utterly alone in this world, it kills me just thinking about it. There are over 400,000 kids in foster care, the majority won't even make it to their 21st birthday. If they do most likely they are incarcerated. The ones that do make it are usually only in foster care because their parents died. Still a heart breaking situation but some what different then those that are abandoned. When your own parents don't want you who is going to? In the mind of that child the answer is "no one." 

For an abandoned older child this is a death sentence. Not only is this child now disposable the resentment from others that he's still alive becomes almost unbearable.  Society sees the abandoned child as a liability and the weakest link. They are kept on the outskirts of society where they can best be sacrificed to the predators of our society. This way they don't have to travel the inner sanctuary, where we keep the valuable children. People are only valuable when other people want them or need them. Unless they are beautiful, then society may keep them around to be passed around until all used up. Now they are as disposable as the rest of the unwanted kids. The ones that don't kill themselves end up in prison or mental institutions. 

This is unacceptable! Our system doesn't help that's why these numbers have stayed steady for almost as long as the child welfare services have been in place. Maybe because it generates income for a lot of people and states. Our good old federal government subsidizes the states depending on how many children are in their system at any given time. The feds also offer grants to certain agencies for additional funding that, by the way, never reaches the kids.

I know I've said this before but what about companies and corporations sponsoring these kids? Not every child will make a good lawyer and/or doctor, companies need laborers too. Right now they pay out good money for services like cleaning and maintaining the building, security, and mail delivery. Not all foster kids want to be doctors or lawyers some would be perfectly happy to have a light job making real money. For those that do want to be doctors and lawyers companies can sponsor them together and when they become a doctor they work for that company until student loans and cost of living are paid off. Some kids may not go for this but those that do at least will have a shot at life. I just had a brilliant idea, the disposable people could become politicians.  Todays abandoned, tomorrows public servant.  If just one child comes through the system without an arrest record, it maybe worth thinking about. The federal government can give these companies tax breaks and society can also help by supporting these kids with understanding, patients and empathy. Stop treating them like 2nd class citizens. I get that statistics don't speak well of these kids but that is only because it doesn't speak well of society and what they do or don't do for these kids. All they need is a lot of encouragement and support from everyone around them to help them believe they are just as good and deserve just as much as everyone else. It is not their fault they are in a bad situation. It is not their fault their parents are pieces of poo and couldn't get it together enough to keep them.  As a side note; there should be no interest added to student loans unless that person is gaining monetarily from that education.  

How can these kids believe in themselves when everyone has let them down?  It is societies fault when these kids are killed, raped, molested, neglected, starved, and or used for whatever sick things people don't want to do to their own kids so they get a disposable one. What else are they for anyway? No one loves them so no one will miss them. True.  It beats having it happen to a wanted child, right?
Just because a child is put up for adoption doesn't make that child stupid. Just because a child isn't wanted by their parent(s) doesn't mean that child doesn't have a brain. They may appear to not be too sharp but that's a lot to do with always being in a new place, with new people, new rules. When you are lost you may appear stupid to those that aren't. Fear is the state for which most of these kids live in. Fear that they will do something wrong and get beat. They, the foster parents, don't tell them the rules up front, no, you get learn those as you break them. All I can say is that children are tough. That we almost believe they can survive just about anything and do. Until they don't.
Each state should have to run tests on every foster child under the best possible conditions for that child and recruit or then sponsor the brightest ones. Of those the states sponsor the feds should then conduct their own tests when or if out of them they find exceptional people, feds then sponsor and later hire them.
In any case, as a society we are failing these children and in turn they are failing themselves and the rest of society. When you have no people you have no conscience and no reason to be a good person. No one seems to care what happens to these kids because the truth is too ugly to face. Some of you maybe worried these kids may hurt you, so what, that is what kids do. I don't mean physically, that of course, is unacceptable, but understandable if that is all the kid knows. We have therapy for those that need it and all of these kids do but not just while they are kids but throughout their lives. When you are damaged as a child, there is no getting over it you just have to learn to live with it and therapy helps keep that in perspective.
On the other hand if you are one of the disposable ones, listen up, hopefully you can read but if not find someone who can and have them read this to you. I know it is so fucking hard being all alone in this crowded fucked up place but you have just as much right to be here as anyone else. You, however, need to help yourself because, as you so painfully know, no one is going to do it for you. They don't know you, no one does so you can be anything, anyone you want. Pick and choose from the adults around you their very best qualities and make them your own. Do not take on what you do not like about them, what you do not want to be like. You are in the unique position to choose who you want to be being exposed to so many at such an early age can be a gift use it as such. Do not let any single event or person, including your parents, define who you are. No matter what, you have to live with yourself for all your life so try to be some one you can do that with.

There is something you all should know, you are better than everyone else.  It's time you start acting like it. It is because everyone knows you are that they put you in this fucked up situation. Don't do anything that will reflect badly on you or other foster children, be the better person. Understand that no one is on your side so don't expect anyone to stand up for you or defend you against anyone or anything. You are one of the disposable people the only ones that need you are the ones like you. Your goal is to reach adulthood then reach out to the ones like you and try to empower them, reach out and give them the understanding and love they so desperately need. Try not to procreate yourself, no-one in the foster care system should be procreating because if anything happens to you where do you think your children will end up? In the system. Where, as you know, no good will come to them.

Predators are working very hard at keeping their positions of power over these kids a secret. The more of us that stand up for our rights the less likely these predators will stick around.
People that trade children for money sell their soul along with them. There is no quick, complete, cheap solution this is a wound in society and it bleeds disposable kids. We need to give these kids a chance and without direct, no strings attached assistance they won't make it.
No matter how expensive kids are they don't come near the cost of a prisoner. We can, as a society, get involved in these kids lives and try to find out how to give them the chance they deserve. These kids may not respond the way we want but that's just their defense. When ever anyone has offered to help them in the past it was so they could help themselves so forgive them if they don't react the way you want. They may even lash out but they are just scared, be patient, let them approach you. Once a stable, consistent environment is established, keep it that way for as long as possible because any change at this point would be detrimental.
If you are single and adopt an older child that has been in the system most of their life do not get married only three years in and with only three years left to their eighteenth birthday.  Do not tell them there will be two people to love them now when you haven't even introduced them to his children. Do not try to set them up, or entrap them to have a documented reason to abandon them. Do not adopt a child just because you're afraid to be alone then toss them back when you find a husband that has three kids of his own. If you tell that adopted child you want them to feel good about themselves don't do for all your other children then stop at the adopted one, this is like a slap in the face. Any contradictions to what you tell an adopted child only reconfirms what pieces of shit people really are, including themselves.
Maybe couples should have to apply for a license to procreate. I mean, any idiot can have a kid but to drive a car, practice medicine, build buildings all require years of school and lots of practice. In my opinion having and raising children seems a lot more complicated than any of those things but as a society we require no such knowledge before people bring forth a new life in the world. Not to mention it's getting really crowded it maybe time to put a cap on it. It may sound communist but that's only because China has put a cap on the number of children people can have do to over population and lack of resources. I say take it a step further and make couples pass a course on child care before they get the green light if they still want to have one that is. The goal here should be to discourage as many want to be mothers from doing just that. If made aware of all that can go wrong physically and mentally with a child and the cost maybe they would at least wait a few more years.  My goal here is to cut the number of children entering the system in half. The easiest place to start is at the beginning with a lot of education and statistics to discourage young ladies from becoming mothers too soon. Not every woman can or should wait until they are in their forties but anybody under 21 should not be allowed to procreate but better still is if they make that choice on their own as responsible children of this planet, our mother, our only parent; Earth. She never lets us down, she may surprise us but that's because we aren't paying attention.
Just like everything she gives birth to it counts, it matters but first we have to pay attention. There are signs all around us in every living thing; plants, animals, birds, bugs, the weather, people we are all the voice of nature. As humans it is our responsibility to learn that language in order to protect them from us.



























 

Earth; OurOnlyParent

Humans; Animal's Keepers

by V. Martin

Come on people we need all that mother nature has put on this planet, get rid of one pest and the whole thing unravels. Even mosquitos have a purpose and it's not just to spread disease and bother us where ever we go. Mosquitoes feed a lot of animals, especially our feathered friends; birds. We need birds for more reasons than I can state here and dare I say we even need their poop. What those reasons are I have no idea but we do, I know that much. Birds have had it pretty bad for decades and really bad the last few years, numbers dropping up to 60%. Some of it is due to the tourist industry, no one wants to get bird shit on their outfit while on vacation. If I had a shop in a tourist town I would be training the birds to shit on all the visitors. That way they would be forced to buy a whole new outfit! They can't go walking around smelling like poo can they? Not to mention it is the opportunity for the town to make that person one of their own. It could become the thing to do, go on vacation and get shit on by locals. LOL! Oh come on, make it work just bring back the birds!

Birds eat the mosquitos and other bugs we don't like. We just need to give them back the times during the day they come out to do what they do; at dust and dawn they tend to be the most active so people stay inside while the feeding frenzy ensues.  It use to be that we adapted to our environment, to stay alive. Now we have conformed our environment to suit us and in doing so are killing the planet. This planet is all we have, we do not get another shot at it. No Devine intervention is going to save us from ourselves, only we can do that, so get busy. The United States has the biggest carbon foot print in the world? WTF? We should have the smallest but because we have done the most damage we need to make the most changes. Before America there were no cars, no planes, or trains. Before America there was no industrial revolution, no giant factories, no unregulated mines, no animal control. Before America there were Native Americans, or as they will always be to me, Indians. Indigenous is a better word for those that were here long before the white people. We call all this progress. Progress for who? I call it a crime against nature and there for a crime against animals and people are animals. People are the most inhumane beings on the planet, even nature has more humanity. We are suppose to be the keepers of this planet and it's creatures and we're not doing very well. We better step down and give Mother Nature back what we have destroyed maybe she can make it right again. I get that we need power but it's all around us and free, fuck the grid! There is so much free energy to be had if we cut the grid out of the equation the cost becomes much less. Do not worry the power company isn't going any where any time soon but to stay in business hopefully they will evolve into something else we need or good riddance. 

It's part of the American dream; where one dream dies another is being born. This time lets think things through a lot more before we go and blow up another country by inventing the worst possible thing. Nothing has been the same since and I'm wondering if it was really worth it?

We dammed all our rivers emptying natural lakes, the ones the birds used to make their way South for the winter and then back again in the Spring. We have geese in Colorado all year long because this is as far as they can make it. They get frozen to the water every year and the ones that aren't wait for the ones that are before they all fly away, their numbers dropping every year. Now they have this great new projects to rid us of them once and for all; feed them to the needy. Who doesn't want to feed those that are hungry? These geese for one and what happens when they are all gone? My friend's father told him once that the sky use to be black with birds taking off, not any more, they can barely make a V formation or get off the ground for god's sake. The pollution from all the jets, cars, trains, ships, and factories are keeping them from flying as high as they use to. I wonder if we can still hear them out in space, it was the sound of our planet, the sound of the universe. It is the only sound of life out in space like earth is the only planet in color, this planet is it and we need to care for it with that knowledge. 

With that in mind, I need to address all the scientist on the planet. Please, please before you come forward with any findings, think about what knowledge you have and the responsibility you have to your fellow man. Not all of us are responsible with the knowledge we gain and you see where it has gotten us so far. As scientists you are our first line of defense against ourselves, refuse to work on any and all projects that do not directly benefit this planet. There is nothing more important than solving global warming and saving the polar bears from extinction. Yes, yes, I know we have them in some cage some where but what kind of life is that for a wild animal? What kind of creatures are we to gather up samples of the animals that litter the planet to keep in cages for future generations. Why? Because we knew we were going to destroy their lands and eventually kill them all? We want a reminder of how beautiful nature was and how we are more powerful than nature itself? Well we showed all those bugs and animals and ourselves because once they go we are not far behind.
Have you ever been in a room with a lot of people in it? No ventilation or climate control just bodies, hot, sweaty and so is the air around you until it becomes unbearable. That is what is happening to our planet but there is no window to throw open to let the hot air out. The smallest of the creatures are going to die off first then like dominos we all go down. Not all will be a direct result but the rest will die do to no food or water or killed for one of those things.
No offense to the tourist industry but shame on you! Go find something else to do because as a society we should be bragging about staying close to home for vacation. The amount of pollution and waste the tourist industry pumps into the atmosphere should be a crime. Air planes should only be used for business and emergencies. People should work close to home and have to walk or bike to work at least twice a week out of four ten hour days. The government shouldn't do business or give grants or contracts to any business or person who is not actively pursuing sustainable solutions to fossil and nuclear fuels.
We also need to stop running around at night all these lights are crazy unless they are solar.
All the huge ships we build and leave in the ocean for all time not to mention all the one we purposely sink during war time and peace. Why do we think this won't raise the sea level? I don't know. I get that the ocean is huge but so are the ships we sink. Not to mention submarines, how many of them hollow bastards are displacing water as we speak? We are 80% covered by water but it use to be 70%. The birds are disappearing at an alarming rate and the ones that are still here can barely fly and look like shit. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!!! Before we all die!
If something doesn't happen soon I'm going to go on a suicide pilgrimage to the White House steps and kill myself in protest the of killing the planet. We are all dead anyway and my life sure hasn't amounted to much but maybe my death can. I'm on borrowed time anyway and don't like where we headed so death for a good cause is really all I can hope for at this point.
To fund my suicide pilgrimage I will have to auction off my corps. Come on, some perverted fuck out there would jump or in this case out bid whatever other weird fuck is bidding on it. I will of course have to start it with the maximum it would take me to walk to Washington DC, that's where the winner can pick up the body. I suggest renting or buying an ambulance to transport me to a refrigerated(I know bad for planet) truck for the trip. Anyway a girl has to have traveling money even when it's to kill herself.
Don't make me do this.
Women stop buying make up!!!! Make up is a single use mask that we wear everyday so we can look like whores? False advertising and we waste a lot of money trying to feel good about ourselves? Why would putting on a bunch of goopy, oily make up that erases our individuality only to turn around and draw on a different face make us feel good about ourselves. Girls are getting mixed messages so it's no wonder they are confused and have no self respect. My god we spend a ton of money on products we have our whole self image wrapped up in. If we don't spend a couple hours a day primping and covering then drawing on our masks so the rest of the world can see us for the confident cowards we are. Bravery should not be a women going outside without her mask on.
Who started this make up thing any way, a bunch of whores! So instead of the hookers wanting to be self respecting, business women and mothers the self respecting business woman decided she wanted to at least look like a whore? This explains a lot about what is wrong with society. This explains why young women aspire to be porn stars and prostitutes instead of scientists or engineers. Do not get me wrong, confidence is very important to feel and project but should it really be based on something we wash off every night? Looks only last so long and anyone who is blessed enough to be good looking doesn't need make up any way and everyone on this planet is beautiful in their own right! None of us needs make up it is a single use thing that we reapply everyday, wasting a ton of money on something we wash down the drain. If we ban together and stop this ridicules practice, image the time we will have to make a real difference in the world? Countless hours are wasted on this ritual and as women we should not be teaching girls to only feel good about themselves if they hide who they really are under a bunch of make up. Confidence is not real when it is dependent on doing what everyone else is. True confidence comes from within. A knowing of ones self in real light is key to building the kind of confidence that isn't based on something as temporary as looks. If we all together decided to put make up away for the sake of ourselves and future women and the future of this planet it might lead the way to putting up all fossil fuels. Companies should think about building smaller buildings and more of the smaller ones and disperse them through out communities to people don't have to commute so far to work. Corporations need take on a lot more responsibility for this climate change because they are the ones best situated to take on the cost of moving the whole planet a few degrees away from the sun. If it means building another dam we should just get rid of the one in China that caused us to move closer to the sun and speed up time. Doesn't anyone else put two and two together?  

Vitamin E (aka the fountain of youth)

By V. Martin

This stuff is amazing! My stretch marks that I had had all my 40+ years went away with a few applications of pure vitamin E oil. Now I smear my face with it, especially around my eyes and mouth. Oh and do not forget the neck oh heck put it every where, give it a few to soak in before getting dressed or climbing into bed. This stuff is awesome so long as you do not use it on any open wounds because they will get infected. It sounds crazy, I know, but trust me and the label. It does not spread real easily but use enough so it does a little easier but expect some resistance. It takes the itch out of every bite and/or stings I have had this summer. (which is a lot)  Discovered entirely by accident because I thought they would get infected since I had scratched them and maybe they still will but for now I am not scratching them into giving me a scar. I also like to mix it with my regular lotion for a healthy glow. Don’t take my word for it, check it out for yourself.

Higher Education

Does Not Equal Higher Intelligence

by V. Martin. 2019

Not too long ago I went back to college at a local community college, I won't give the exact college but they will know who they are.  The first time I got a D which is passing but not for my degree, they are hoping I will change my degree because I didn't get a C or better. So, I took it again. Really, I should have dropped the course and tried again in the fall but I'm stubborn and since I already took it, but I got an F. The professor wasn't interested in teaching me in fact had accused me of having ADHD or some other personalty disorder when in fact I am dyslexic. 

During the entire summer class I participated whenever she paused to let someone answer it was I who called out the right answer, most of the time. It was getting so other students were starting to notice. In Math lab I stopped going because she would obviously ignore me when I had a question or was stuck on a problem. All I can think of is that I missed an appointment with her on a weekend day and I totally forgot until recently. Even still, not to even care but to make fun of me with the other students? Uncalled for but I could hear them as I left the classroom in search of the HR department to drop off the surveys we were asked to take. I told them what my professor did. The fact that I displayed all the classic signs of someone who has dyslexia but is accused of having some other disability that require drugs and at age 50 by someone who isn't qualified is ridiculous.

Just because I switched schools hoping for a fairer shake at a sister campus did not pan out like I had hoped. So all I can do now is test out of this stupid Math class and hope I can take the test in another country.

The first Math professor I had for this same class was a module class the one I got a D in. She decided not to log all our lab hours, which is how they determine if you qualify for a tutor, when I asked for one they sent me to a math lab. I was already spending ten to twelve extra hours a week in math lab but no hours were showing up and no-one told me this was why I didn't get a tutor. It wasn't until almost the end of the semester before they assigned me a tutor and by then it was too late. So you tell me what you think? She knew I was trying to get a tutor, I told her as much but all she did was move me to the other side, where the students for Math 050 sat. Now that I think about it I really got a C the first time if they were to grade it at a normal level because I had accidentally signed up for advanced classes which has a different grading scale 100-95% is an A B is 95-85% a C is 85-75 and a D is 75-65 and I got 73% which is a C in a normal class.  The same goes for my CSI, maybe not, I got a C in it and a low one at that but that's another thing, a C? Really? In CSI? 

To hell with it no one wants to teach a 50 year old woman with dyslexia and an IQ of 137. They all think I should know it all but I don't. I know less than more. 

WritingBackwardLeftHanded

From Right to Left

by V. Martin (aka Vonia)

Recently, I spit for 23 and me to find out about my DNA and as I've always suspected, it's unusual. One of the questions they asked was if I can write backwards, without ever having done so I answered "yes" because I knew I could. A few weeks later, bored, I decided to try it with my left hand writing from right to left, no problem. Then I decided to try both at the same time, my right writing normal from left to right my left writing backward from right to left and it worked, no problem. It looks kinda cool too but other wise another useless talent. When I looked it up online, this is only reported to happen to Leonardo Da Vinci or mentally handicapped or people with a tumor or having had a stoke. There is little hope of being added to a list with the likes of Da Vinci and I'm only 50 years old and have never had a stroke. I am dyslexic and ambidextrous who can write backward left handed while writing the normal way with my right but not cursive just print and different from one another. My DNA also says I have fewer Neanderthal variants 239 is less then 87% of 23 and me customers.  The one associated with straight hair is the only one I have. My maternal haplogroup is unusual also U4b1a1 only 1 in 2,300 23 and me customers share this maternal line.

What all this has to do with anything is beyond me but thought I should share it.

As in a previous post, I was naturally left handed but forced to be right handed which I believe led to my dyslexia. Looking back, I think I was always ambidextrous just no one noticed. Same reason my dyslexia has never been diagnosed, by the system, I aged out of it in Arizona. 

It is much easier to write backward with my left hand then forward due to the fact I can read it as I write without putting my hand in an awkward position or smearing what I just wrote. 

I cannot read what I write this way unless I put it up to a mirror.

If my drop box wasn't so full I would post some photos but as it is...
Great here are some photos.
If there is anyone else out there that has this ability I would appreciate you reaching out to me, via this blog. Thank you.

This is a sample of both hands at the same time.

writing backward with my left and forward with my right.

Prisoners

Do Not Forget

By V. Martin

It’s important that we all evolve that means prisoners too. This is your chance to leave prejudice where it belongs; in the past. Like everything in life the way you live is a choice so choose different. Lift each other up instead of keeping each other down. If you think about it you have at your finger tips one of the largest pre designed networks in the world. You all should be using this to your advantage. Think about it if ex prisoners were to only deal with other ex cons. That does not mean you con each other on the contrary, that is the last thing you should do. Hold yourselves to higher standards, knowing your criminal tendencies, be strict with yourselves and each other. Most of you don’t have family so be each other’s, keep one another in check. If you see someone on the edge pull them back and do what it takes to snap them out of it. Prison can be what you make it, make it a place of healing what’s broken. So many of you are broken but with help from one another you can mend.

Disposable

Disposable

by V. Martin

"Temporary" is the word of the generation

That throws everything away

Everything is disposable including me

Like trash, I haven't gone far just down the street

To age biodegrade and they call me a park or a house

where the landfill used to be it's still there under your feet

But nothing is for nothing so you better pay for what is free

I've been thrown away so many times the stink is apart of me

You can't wash it off no matter how hard you scrub

There isn't enough water not even a full tub

Recycling roh2o

Question: Why doesn’t every building have an ROh2o system that captures all rain water but also used water from the house to be sent through the ROh2o system? Every building would have and use only what it needs recycling what it does and doesn’t use? With no water leaving the building there would be no water coming in from an outside source other then what comes in the form of rain? I am not sure how it would work but it might. The water company would not be happy but why should they make money on a natural life giving substance that falls from the sky on all of us? If people were allowed to be responsible for there own water there would be less disease and illnesses at least that could be spread through water.
Also, the trash and waste from the house could be used to generate energy to power, hopefully, everything. Of course, power companies wouldn't be happy but they would just have to evolve like the rest of us. Because if we don't do something it is going to get worse. Pure water can solve so much. I'm convinced it is my calling in life to get the message across to as many people that I can. No one is going to listen to me who am I? No one but me and I'm telling anyone who will listen to study water, pay attention, even if you can't afford to. You will be amazed, as I am, at the power of pure ROH2O nothing else. You can add a drop of whatever cleaner you want but only a drop or two. The reason HE washers are high efficiency due to the on board filtration systems. I'm not sure what kind but it is why you only need a fraction of the detergent and why it doesn't need an agitator, anymore.

All that probably belonged on my other blog but oh well.