I Try Not To But I Can't Seem To Help It
by Vonia Martin
Back to the foster care problem. It occurred to me that the reason the majority of these people end up in prison or dead is because they have no home. Once they turn 18 they are on their own. With no job or cell phone and no car, perhaps no high school diploma, what choices are left to them? When they fall on hard times, wait that is their whole life; hard. They have no one to turn to if they need help. No one to ask advise from that has only their well being in mind. No one to stand up for them when some one attempts to defraud or steel from them. No one to welcome them home when they need a safe place to go when they have no where else. No one to protect them from people that will hurt them, not even themselves. No one to tell them the truth no matter what. No one to be on their side or to gauge themselves by. No one to give them a reason to be a good person. No one to stick up for them when they are too weak to do it themselves. No one to back them up when they're telling the truth but it appears that they're not. No one to cheer them on and make sure they get their reward when they win. No one to confirm that what they claim to be theirs remains theirs.
Without family you have no one, you are nothing and you are reminded of that everyday of your life. You are painfully aware that you do not get the same treatment or opportunities as everyone else. What you get is blamed for everything bad that happens, wether you had anything to do with it or not. If anything good comes from you it will be projected onto someone else because there is no way anything positive is ever going to come from you. The third way you get treated is as a thief because if you have a good idea you must have stolen it from someone else. There for, they can take it from you without the least bit of credit going your way. The credit will go to someone else or just taken from you because you are lying or stealing, or both.
Without family you have no one, you are nothing and you are reminded of that everyday of your life. You are painfully aware that you do not get the same treatment or opportunities as everyone else. What you get is blamed for everything bad that happens, wether you had anything to do with it or not. If anything good comes from you it will be projected onto someone else because there is no way anything positive is ever going to come from you. The third way you get treated is as a thief because if you have a good idea you must have stolen it from someone else. There for, they can take it from you without the least bit of credit going your way. The credit will go to someone else or just taken from you because you are lying or stealing, or both.
With nothing and no one these people do not stand a chance. There is no way to give these kids what they are missing, family wise. Or is there. What if we provided them with a home? Every state should have to provide these people with a safe place to live once they are out of the foster care system. They should not be going from foster care to the prison system without even a possibility of anything else. No wonder a lot of them commit suicide before 21. If you think there is a better answer to this problem please let it be known because no one should be disposable. These people are. So if you are without people you are nothing have nothing and you will remain that way if society has anything to do with it because you simply aren't good enough. No one is going to encourage you or clear a path for you or defend you against injustices. You have to find your own way without even an idea belonging to you, it is at society's mercy that you even exist. So forgive them when they take all that is left to you; your mind.
You know you are alone when the idea you had, to save countless lives, that you tried to get everyone interested in helping you with is now someone elses. Yet when someone else pitches the same idea only calling it something else everyone jumps on board. Not one person will stand up for you not even your adopted mother to claim your idea and get compensated for it. Anyone with a family and they would be going to court to testify on your behalf.
These are things that foster kids deal with on a daily basis never getting a fair shake. So, why wouldn't they kill themselves before 21? WOULDN'T YOU? Why would you want to continue to live would be a shorter list for these people to answer. The government has tried everything it can think of to try to change the future for these people but they are falling short.
Foster kids beget more foster kids. When your projected life span is 21 and you're pregnant where do you think your child is headed? Foster care! When you have no one having someone that is going to have no one too is not the answer. At first you may think so but stop to think for a minute. If you have no one in your life and you have children then something happens to you where do you think your children are going to go? Don't do that to them, do not procreate, you are dooming that child to the same life you are so desperate to escape. Without a family people don't do too well but can survive but without a home people don't have what it takes to stay out of prison. Prison always takes you, never do they turn you away. Prison becomes like their parent, always there when they need them. Prison becomes home to foster people and for some is safer than foster care. Really what choice do they have for retirement; prison or death? Excuse me I'm forgetting the institutions, they always welcome the disposable people. It seems to me a lot of these places exist for these unwanted ones.
What if some how we figure out away to give these people a home to go to no matter what? What if they had a place to go after they age out of the system? What if this place helped them get back on their feet to go forth into the world with the tools it takes to succeed? Some how these people need to be the caretaker and owner of this home for themselves and others like them. How to set they a land know they have a stake in the place they call home. If foster children were given a safe place to call their own, one they are going to pass down to more disposable people so they won't be disposable any more. The idea is to get them invested in this place but not rooted, the idea is to prepare them to leave the nest. They, like all of us, must go forth into the world to make it a better place but if they should stumble or falter this place called home is always open to them if they need it. The disposable ones are already minus a family why do they have to continually be without a home too? The point too is to help them realize their potential for being responsible, tax paying citizens, ones that the community is proud of because everyone is invested in their future. It would be a lot cheaper then prison and since they(prisons) are on the stock market they(foster kids) should invest in their future now so they might own it one day.
Seriously, if I was a criminal I would be investing my ill gotten gains into my future; prisons. There is something significantly wrong with society when we are betting against reform and putting our money into the prisoners coming back. This is how society decides to get some of it's money back on the disposable people that refuse to be disposed of.
If you happen to be one of the ones for whom I speak; listen up. It's time to step up and be better than everyone else around you, now that they have taught you how not to be show them what a real human being stands for. It's really easy; be honest and true to yourself and others like you. It doesn't matter their skin color or what god they worship. If they don't have family, through no fault of their own, they have family now; you. You and the rest of us like them, famililess.(funny how there is no word for what no one should be without) From this moment on we must be each others family. We must stand up for one another, not stab each other in the back. We must help everyone but first each other. We will not be offended by those who express distrust no matter what we do to prove our trust worthiness. We trust each other, no questions asked we give each other what everyone else denies us; the benefit of the doubt. We don't ever break that trust because all we have in this world is our word and if that is worthless then so are we. We defend and stand up, legally in court if necessary, for one another. One of us has had to become a lawyer by now, if not someone better get to it because you will come to be the disposable peoples counsel. Until then, there has to be an attorney out there that will not let the defenseless, disposable people keep sacrificing themselves like they've been taught, remain doing so just so a few people can make money by betting on a minorities future. Especially when the minorities are Americans, where's their warehouse? Why aren't they warehoused, fed, clothed, educated, entertained, and waiting amongst their own kind(some have no family to take them from so no one to answer to) for the life people come from all over the world to live? Free. Because no such better life awaits them, most don't ever get a driver's license because by the time they are old enough to get one they have no address to have it sent to. They drive anyway because they have to for work but eventually they will get pulled over and so starts the habitual failure to appears in court because you still don't have one. Rather then tell the judge your situation(it's embarrassing and degrading to admit you have no one it has always rejected badly on you) because here at last is someone who can show you mercy if only you could ask. Pride can be a wicked thing and it's tricky to live by it and not die by it as well. Don't look at me for someone to role yourself after. I may look good at first but like a black hole if you get too close I'll suck you in never to be seen the same again. What does come out is something we don't recognize as what we lost so we give it a different name so it looses all it's previous knowledge or so it is to us. Like a computer life keeps everything on disc, hard drives, servers, and the cloud a lot of places to look. The more you know of the address to the information you are trying to bring up the quicker, more exact information on that subject you'll receive. People
The home they are initially given will be a dust bowl with little potential for anything more. Let's face it, no one wants them to succeed and become self sustaining, proving everyone wrong. Most people have too much riding on them failing. If they succeed it's like admitting they are better than everyone else because they took a no win situation and turned it into a win win. Don't let their insecurities run or ruin you but don't let the belief in yourself become arrogance, remain humble if you know how. We need to build a community all to ourselves that practices real humanity, real sustainability, and real honest people. Honesty is never disposable so as long as you're honest you are applicable because the truth is only ugly when it's masked with lies. We need not reward the truth. We need to reclaim the truth from the liars by calling it what it is; honesty. Honestly, the truth doesn't hurt, the fact that we even say that makes us liars. The truth doesn't set us free, either. Ask any Native American or African American. The truth isn't meant to set us free, it is meant to anchor us. It is meant to make us responsible humans, responsible for what we leave behind when we go. What kind of foot print do you want your children to follow in? Or in the generations to come to die in?
When you are a foster kid nothing belongs to you. No matter how old you get or how many jobs you've worked to earn what you have it is never really yours. Any one can come along and help themselves to whatever you have and not because they want it it's just so you don't have it. Even the people closest to you won't let you have more than they want you to so you learn not to want anything. You can't expose even the thinnest slice of yourself not to anyone, ever. It's pretty exhausting to always be on alert to always sleep with one eye open and fully dressed everything ready to go at a moment notice. The worst is that no one notices or cares all they concern themselves with is what they are going to get from you. Usually, it's sex, really what else do you have? If you're lucky, looks. The only way I survived was on my back. No one cared about anything else except how they were going to fuck me. It's gotten to the point that the thought of sex makes me sick to my stomach. All the times I din't want to but did any way so they wouldn't rape me. What kind of a fucked up person becomes willing so she can't be raped any more?
Another thing, foster kids don't usually commit crimes. I know it seems that they would be out there stealing and pillaging but they don't do that kind of thing, mainly because its done to them. The main reason I know they aren't the one committing crimes it is becuse they have no friends. Friends are the ones you commit crimes with, the ones that talk you into it in the first place, friends are the ones that get you into trouble. They talk you into things you normally wouldn't even consider. Orphans can be influenced easily, however, so crime isn't completely off the table and lets face it most kids talk each other into stupid shit like stealing. Since most orphans don't have friends some one posing as one could influence them into becoming a criminal but for the most part they ask for what they need. Begging is a solo sport so orphans gravitate to that more then stealing.
You know you are alone when the idea you had, to save countless lives, that you tried to get everyone interested in helping you with is now someone elses. Yet when someone else pitches the same idea only calling it something else everyone jumps on board. Not one person will stand up for you not even your adopted mother to claim your idea and get compensated for it. Anyone with a family and they would be going to court to testify on your behalf.
These are things that foster kids deal with on a daily basis never getting a fair shake. So, why wouldn't they kill themselves before 21? WOULDN'T YOU? Why would you want to continue to live would be a shorter list for these people to answer. The government has tried everything it can think of to try to change the future for these people but they are falling short.
Foster kids beget more foster kids. When your projected life span is 21 and you're pregnant where do you think your child is headed? Foster care! When you have no one having someone that is going to have no one too is not the answer. At first you may think so but stop to think for a minute. If you have no one in your life and you have children then something happens to you where do you think your children are going to go? Don't do that to them, do not procreate, you are dooming that child to the same life you are so desperate to escape. Without a family people don't do too well but can survive but without a home people don't have what it takes to stay out of prison. Prison always takes you, never do they turn you away. Prison becomes like their parent, always there when they need them. Prison becomes home to foster people and for some is safer than foster care. Really what choice do they have for retirement; prison or death? Excuse me I'm forgetting the institutions, they always welcome the disposable people. It seems to me a lot of these places exist for these unwanted ones.
What if some how we figure out away to give these people a home to go to no matter what? What if they had a place to go after they age out of the system? What if this place helped them get back on their feet to go forth into the world with the tools it takes to succeed? Some how these people need to be the caretaker and owner of this home for themselves and others like them. How to set they a land know they have a stake in the place they call home. If foster children were given a safe place to call their own, one they are going to pass down to more disposable people so they won't be disposable any more. The idea is to get them invested in this place but not rooted, the idea is to prepare them to leave the nest. They, like all of us, must go forth into the world to make it a better place but if they should stumble or falter this place called home is always open to them if they need it. The disposable ones are already minus a family why do they have to continually be without a home too? The point too is to help them realize their potential for being responsible, tax paying citizens, ones that the community is proud of because everyone is invested in their future. It would be a lot cheaper then prison and since they(prisons) are on the stock market they(foster kids) should invest in their future now so they might own it one day.
Seriously, if I was a criminal I would be investing my ill gotten gains into my future; prisons. There is something significantly wrong with society when we are betting against reform and putting our money into the prisoners coming back. This is how society decides to get some of it's money back on the disposable people that refuse to be disposed of.
If you happen to be one of the ones for whom I speak; listen up. It's time to step up and be better than everyone else around you, now that they have taught you how not to be show them what a real human being stands for. It's really easy; be honest and true to yourself and others like you. It doesn't matter their skin color or what god they worship. If they don't have family, through no fault of their own, they have family now; you. You and the rest of us like them, famililess.(funny how there is no word for what no one should be without) From this moment on we must be each others family. We must stand up for one another, not stab each other in the back. We must help everyone but first each other. We will not be offended by those who express distrust no matter what we do to prove our trust worthiness. We trust each other, no questions asked we give each other what everyone else denies us; the benefit of the doubt. We don't ever break that trust because all we have in this world is our word and if that is worthless then so are we. We defend and stand up, legally in court if necessary, for one another. One of us has had to become a lawyer by now, if not someone better get to it because you will come to be the disposable peoples counsel. Until then, there has to be an attorney out there that will not let the defenseless, disposable people keep sacrificing themselves like they've been taught, remain doing so just so a few people can make money by betting on a minorities future. Especially when the minorities are Americans, where's their warehouse? Why aren't they warehoused, fed, clothed, educated, entertained, and waiting amongst their own kind(some have no family to take them from so no one to answer to) for the life people come from all over the world to live? Free. Because no such better life awaits them, most don't ever get a driver's license because by the time they are old enough to get one they have no address to have it sent to. They drive anyway because they have to for work but eventually they will get pulled over and so starts the habitual failure to appears in court because you still don't have one. Rather then tell the judge your situation(it's embarrassing and degrading to admit you have no one it has always rejected badly on you) because here at last is someone who can show you mercy if only you could ask. Pride can be a wicked thing and it's tricky to live by it and not die by it as well. Don't look at me for someone to role yourself after. I may look good at first but like a black hole if you get too close I'll suck you in never to be seen the same again. What does come out is something we don't recognize as what we lost so we give it a different name so it looses all it's previous knowledge or so it is to us. Like a computer life keeps everything on disc, hard drives, servers, and the cloud a lot of places to look. The more you know of the address to the information you are trying to bring up the quicker, more exact information on that subject you'll receive. People
The home they are initially given will be a dust bowl with little potential for anything more. Let's face it, no one wants them to succeed and become self sustaining, proving everyone wrong. Most people have too much riding on them failing. If they succeed it's like admitting they are better than everyone else because they took a no win situation and turned it into a win win. Don't let their insecurities run or ruin you but don't let the belief in yourself become arrogance, remain humble if you know how. We need to build a community all to ourselves that practices real humanity, real sustainability, and real honest people. Honesty is never disposable so as long as you're honest you are applicable because the truth is only ugly when it's masked with lies. We need not reward the truth. We need to reclaim the truth from the liars by calling it what it is; honesty. Honestly, the truth doesn't hurt, the fact that we even say that makes us liars. The truth doesn't set us free, either. Ask any Native American or African American. The truth isn't meant to set us free, it is meant to anchor us. It is meant to make us responsible humans, responsible for what we leave behind when we go. What kind of foot print do you want your children to follow in? Or in the generations to come to die in?
When you are a foster kid nothing belongs to you. No matter how old you get or how many jobs you've worked to earn what you have it is never really yours. Any one can come along and help themselves to whatever you have and not because they want it it's just so you don't have it. Even the people closest to you won't let you have more than they want you to so you learn not to want anything. You can't expose even the thinnest slice of yourself not to anyone, ever. It's pretty exhausting to always be on alert to always sleep with one eye open and fully dressed everything ready to go at a moment notice. The worst is that no one notices or cares all they concern themselves with is what they are going to get from you. Usually, it's sex, really what else do you have? If you're lucky, looks. The only way I survived was on my back. No one cared about anything else except how they were going to fuck me. It's gotten to the point that the thought of sex makes me sick to my stomach. All the times I din't want to but did any way so they wouldn't rape me. What kind of a fucked up person becomes willing so she can't be raped any more?
Another thing, foster kids don't usually commit crimes. I know it seems that they would be out there stealing and pillaging but they don't do that kind of thing, mainly because its done to them. The main reason I know they aren't the one committing crimes it is becuse they have no friends. Friends are the ones you commit crimes with, the ones that talk you into it in the first place, friends are the ones that get you into trouble. They talk you into things you normally wouldn't even consider. Orphans can be influenced easily, however, so crime isn't completely off the table and lets face it most kids talk each other into stupid shit like stealing. Since most orphans don't have friends some one posing as one could influence them into becoming a criminal but for the most part they ask for what they need. Begging is a solo sport so orphans gravitate to that more then stealing.
No comments:
Post a Comment