Foster Kids
by Vonia Martin (aka V)
Lately, I've been researching the statistics on foster children. What happens to these people once they age out of the system? Nothing good from what I understand. The chances of these people graduating college, oh hell, even high school are very slim. At eighteen they are homeless because the state considers them an adult, so no more assistance. Who cares that they have no drivers license, the state won't be liable for an accident? Who cares that they have no job, if they do it's an after school one? Who cares that they, if they are lucky, just finished high school and are homeless? Who cares that they have no cell phone, who's going to pay the bill? Certainly not the foster parents and not the tax payers so no phone for them. Let's see, that about covers the obvious obstacles. Did I mention that these kids have no one? No one they can count on to always be on their side. No one to turn to with things go bad or they get into trouble. They are literally and utterly alone in this world, it kills me just thinking about it. There are over 400,000 kids in foster care, the majority won't even make it to their 21st birthday. If they do most likely they are incarcerated. The ones that do make it are usually only in foster care because their parents died. Still a heart breaking situation but some what different then those that are abandoned. When your own parents don't want you who is going to? In the mind of that child the answer is "no one."
For an abandoned older child this is a death sentence. Not only is this child now disposable the resentment from others that he's still alive becomes almost unbearable. Society sees the abandoned child as a liability and the weakest link. They are kept on the outskirts of society where they can best be sacrificed to the predators of our society. This way they don't have to travel the inner sanctuary, where we keep the valuable children. People are only valuable when other people want them or need them. Unless they are beautiful, then society may keep them around to be passed around until all used up. Now they are as disposable as the rest of the unwanted kids. The ones that don't kill themselves end up in prison or mental institutions.
This is unacceptable! Our system doesn't help that's why these numbers have stayed steady for almost as long as the child welfare services have been in place. Maybe because it generates income for a lot of people and states. Our good old federal government subsidizes the states depending on how many children are in their system at any given time. The feds also offer grants to certain agencies for additional funding that, by the way, never reaches the kids.
I know I've said this before but what about companies and corporations sponsoring these kids? Not every child will make a good lawyer and/or doctor, companies need laborers too. Right now they pay out good money for services like cleaning and maintaining the building, security, and mail delivery. Not all foster kids want to be doctors or lawyers some would be perfectly happy to have a light job making real money. For those that do want to be doctors and lawyers companies can sponsor them together and when they become a doctor they work for that company until student loans and cost of living are paid off. Some kids may not go for this but those that do at least will have a shot at life. I just had a brilliant idea, the disposable people could become politicians. Todays abandoned, tomorrows public servant. If just one child comes through the system without an arrest record, it maybe worth thinking about. The federal government can give these companies tax breaks and society can also help by supporting these kids with understanding, patients and empathy. Stop treating them like 2nd class citizens. I get that statistics don't speak well of these kids but that is only because it doesn't speak well of society and what they do or don't do for these kids. All they need is a lot of encouragement and support from everyone around them to help them believe they are just as good and deserve just as much as everyone else. It is not their fault they are in a bad situation. It is not their fault their parents are pieces of poo and couldn't get it together enough to keep them. As a side note; there should be no interest added to student loans unless that person is gaining monetarily from that education.
How can these kids believe in themselves when everyone has let them down? It is societies fault when these kids are killed, raped, molested, neglected, starved, and or used for whatever sick things people don't want to do to their own kids so they get a disposable one. What else are they for anyway? No one loves them so no one will miss them. True. It beats having it happen to a wanted child, right?
Just because a child is put up for adoption doesn't make that child stupid. Just because a child isn't wanted by their parent(s) doesn't mean that child doesn't have a brain. They may appear to not be too sharp but that's a lot to do with always being in a new place, with new people, new rules. When you are lost you may appear stupid to those that aren't. Fear is the state for which most of these kids live in. Fear that they will do something wrong and get beat. They, the foster parents, don't tell them the rules up front, no, you get learn those as you break them. All I can say is that children are tough. That we almost believe they can survive just about anything and do. Until they don't.
Each state should have to run tests on every foster child under the best possible conditions for that child and recruit or then sponsor the brightest ones. Of those the states sponsor the feds should then conduct their own tests when or if out of them they find exceptional people, feds then sponsor and later hire them.
In any case, as a society we are failing these children and in turn they are failing themselves and the rest of society. When you have no people you have no conscience and no reason to be a good person. No one seems to care what happens to these kids because the truth is too ugly to face. Some of you maybe worried these kids may hurt you, so what, that is what kids do. I don't mean physically, that of course, is unacceptable, but understandable if that is all the kid knows. We have therapy for those that need it and all of these kids do but not just while they are kids but throughout their lives. When you are damaged as a child, there is no getting over it you just have to learn to live with it and therapy helps keep that in perspective.
On the other hand if you are one of the disposable ones, listen up, hopefully you can read but if not find someone who can and have them read this to you. I know it is so fucking hard being all alone in this crowded fucked up place but you have just as much right to be here as anyone else. You, however, need to help yourself because, as you so painfully know, no one is going to do it for you. They don't know you, no one does so you can be anything, anyone you want. Pick and choose from the adults around you their very best qualities and make them your own. Do not take on what you do not like about them, what you do not want to be like. You are in the unique position to choose who you want to be being exposed to so many at such an early age can be a gift use it as such. Do not let any single event or person, including your parents, define who you are. No matter what, you have to live with yourself for all your life so try to be some one you can do that with.
There is something you all should know, you are better than everyone else. It's time you start acting like it. It is because everyone knows you are that they put you in this fucked up situation. Don't do anything that will reflect badly on you or other foster children, be the better person. Understand that no one is on your side so don't expect anyone to stand up for you or defend you against anyone or anything. You are one of the disposable people the only ones that need you are the ones like you. Your goal is to reach adulthood then reach out to the ones like you and try to empower them, reach out and give them the understanding and love they so desperately need. Try not to procreate yourself, no-one in the foster care system should be procreating because if anything happens to you where do you think your children will end up? In the system. Where, as you know, no good will come to them.
Predators are working very hard at keeping their positions of power over these kids a secret. The more of us that stand up for our rights the less likely these predators will stick around.
People that trade children for money sell their soul along with them. There is no quick, complete, cheap solution this is a wound in society and it bleeds disposable kids. We need to give these kids a chance and without direct, no strings attached assistance they won't make it.
No matter how expensive kids are they don't come near the cost of a prisoner. We can, as a society, get involved in these kids lives and try to find out how to give them the chance they deserve. These kids may not respond the way we want but that's just their defense. When ever anyone has offered to help them in the past it was so they could help themselves so forgive them if they don't react the way you want. They may even lash out but they are just scared, be patient, let them approach you. Once a stable, consistent environment is established, keep it that way for as long as possible because any change at this point would be detrimental.
If you are single and adopt an older child that has been in the system most of their life do not get married only three years in and with only three years left to their eighteenth birthday. Do not tell them there will be two people to love them now when you haven't even introduced them to his children. Do not try to set them up, or entrap them to have a documented reason to abandon them. Do not adopt a child just because you're afraid to be alone then toss them back when you find a husband that has three kids of his own. If you tell that adopted child you want them to feel good about themselves don't do for all your other children then stop at the adopted one, this is like a slap in the face. Any contradictions to what you tell an adopted child only reconfirms what pieces of shit people really are, including themselves.
Maybe couples should have to apply for a license to procreate. I mean, any idiot can have a kid but to drive a car, practice medicine, build buildings all require years of school and lots of practice. In my opinion having and raising children seems a lot more complicated than any of those things but as a society we require no such knowledge before people bring forth a new life in the world. Not to mention it's getting really crowded it maybe time to put a cap on it. It may sound communist but that's only because China has put a cap on the number of children people can have do to over population and lack of resources. I say take it a step further and make couples pass a course on child care before they get the green light if they still want to have one that is. The goal here should be to discourage as many want to be mothers from doing just that. If made aware of all that can go wrong physically and mentally with a child and the cost maybe they would at least wait a few more years. My goal here is to cut the number of children entering the system in half. The easiest place to start is at the beginning with a lot of education and statistics to discourage young ladies from becoming mothers too soon. Not every woman can or should wait until they are in their forties but anybody under 21 should not be allowed to procreate but better still is if they make that choice on their own as responsible children of this planet, our mother, our only parent; Earth. She never lets us down, she may surprise us but that's because we aren't paying attention.
Just like everything she gives birth to it counts, it matters but first we have to pay attention. There are signs all around us in every living thing; plants, animals, birds, bugs, the weather, people we are all the voice of nature. As humans it is our responsibility to learn that language in order to protect them from us.
