ColoradoSun

 ASecondChance?

  By Vonia Martin 2024

  A few months ago I applied for a writing job, with no hope of getting it yet I did. I was so excited with disbelief I accidentally deleted it. I thought I had blown it because the date on the email was 11/23 and I hadn’t checked my email in a while. I don’t know if I am knowledgeable enough to complete the project because I have no real support or help but I would like to try. 

  You see, I was a foster kid who aged out of the system in AZ. Back then they just cut you loose at 18, with nothing. Some how I managed to survive and try and thrive but everything seemed against me, especially myself. It is so hard for me to imagine being successful or doing anything worth while because I’m not worth while but I am.

Since I dropped the ball, I am thinking about going to Texas and writing about the program they are doing there with their homeless. This way I don’t have to start from scratch trying to find people to help. I know there is no shortage of these people, I just don’t have the resources to make that happen. 

  I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself for missing this opportunity. I am really sorry for those I could have helped with this project. There is no reason for you to give me a second chance except that I could really use it. I believe I can be the voice for my people and their struggles if you can take another chance. 

LeadKills

 Lead Is Poison

  By Vonia Martin 2024

  It is beyond me why our government does not do something about lead based ammunition that is poisoning us. Of course it does nothing about our use of fossil fuels either. How much longer can we continue to do nothing. My question mark does not work. Our planet is dying and we continue to kill it as if we can live without it. If you think like Rush Limbaa blah blah blah divine intervention is going to save us all. What a bunch of shit. The only divine intervention that will save us is our governments and or the evolution of the fossil fuel companies to renewable energy. If they would take it upon themselves to switch it would go a long way to saving us all. Change is hard but it can also be inspirational. Inspire us all by leading the way by sacrificing what does not work for what does.

  Big companies make a ton of money but are not held accountable for the harm they cause because a our government protects them. People are under the impression that our government protects us from these companies and the decisions they make especially when they affect us all. Where are all the parents. We continue on like we have no children to consider. We no longer care if we leave a safe, healthy place for our children to grow and become pillars of society. It does not matter wether or not our children can breathe, drink, and eat without suffering. Our government is not for us, the average person, it is for the 1% that does not care about anything but money. It is only concerned with how to keep the wealthy rich, to hell with everything else. Things are bad and getting worse but our government does nothing but support wars going on else where. We cannot continue to throw our resources at things that are so bad for Mother Nature, she should be our priority. We need to find different ways to solve our problems, ones that go against the very fabric or war, death. We need only concern ourselves with sustaining life not ending it.

We have federally abolished abortion now we need to do the same with firearms. We cannot even keep kids alive that are already here how can we keep an unknown amount of unwanted children alive and safe. Question mark. 

  There is something fundamentally wrong with what we are doing when we make women bare children they are not supported by the father or her family to have. Communities better be stepping up to help these women through the whole process including after she gives birth. It’s like with animals our answer to any sick or wounded animal is to put it out of its misery but humans we let suffer without a thought to their quality of life. Unfortunately, the quality of life is judged solely on the amount of money there is to raise a child or provide comfort to those disabled. Ask any child what they would rather have, money or their parents attention.question mark. Mostly they want their parents unless they are teenagers. Lol

NoOne

But A Loser

By Vonia Martin 2024

There is nothing more discouraging then myself especially when I apply for writing work and I get it but don’t know because I don’t check my email for two months. Who needs enemies, right? Even if I didn’t expect to get it, which I didn’t, I could have at least checked. In my mind that means I must not want out of this fucked up situation that bad and it’s that bad. I want someone to swoop in and save me but I don’t want to save myself. 

That is just not fair! I don’t know how to do this because no one has ever showed me how. All I know how to do is sacrifice myself which I do on a regular basis and everyone around me lets me.

LitNotLitt

 At fifty five years young

I really feel I have just begun

Even though I have been told

That instead of younger I’m old

Some people age and grow

Becoming cautious and slow

I on the other hand

Learn Spanish and join a band

Unlike my peers I have not

Not even what I have bought

Everything just disappears

Along with all the years

I didn’t even pro create

On occasion I masterbate

They say it’s never too late

If you ask me I can’t relate

To most people with a fate

Better then mine

It’s just a matter of time

Before I commit a crime

Or so they think

But not if you blink

All I’m trying to say

Is tomorrow is another day

Choose to live with love

So you will be above

Other people’s bullshit

Even when it’s lit

On fire

Phoenix Camelback Hospital

My Roommate

By Vonia Martin

Way back in the mid 80s my adopted momster sent me to mental institutions in her quest to be rid of me. It was a problem because other then the fact that she just got married there was no other reason. Her and her new husband didn’t want to hurt their sterling reputations so the conspired to rid themselves of me. With any luck they will make it appear to be my decision. Lucky them, putting one over on a foster kid, that has got to be a new low for educated society. No? If not , it should be. 

People that adopt a child should not be allowed to give them back just because they met someone and they don’t want the child for what ever reason. It should not be allowed especially when the child is only a few years from adulthood. 

My adopted momster institutionalized me for years before she was allowed to disown me but no one not one person spoke to me about it or what I wanted. The courts really fucked me on the whole deal but now I am back and ready to prove that it was her that made the mistake of disowning me for someone who only wanted your money. Can’t you see that he has none of his own so you are the only way for him to leave anything for his children but first he has to rid you of me. With an heir you would have no reason to leave his children anything and since he didn’t work to leave his kids something he depends on you to do so. You don’t even care as long as you didn’t have to be alone. Well, he more then earned your money he made sure he wouldn’t go to me. 

After everything I’ve been through with you and your empty promises, my real momster and her  child molesting ways, then the joyful foster care system, then being institutionalized, then being disowned and raped by the family that was suppose to protect me, it is a wonder I haven’t gone postal. Or is that what you are pushing for? Get it over with, no one goes through this much and survives unscathed. 

Yet there is no where for me to turn no one I can count on. Not even my momster who adopted me and looked me up 35 years later because she is so terrified of being alone she uses me again to insure her husband’s children will care for her after he dies. 

All it costs her was a car, all it casts me was my soul.

Congratulations, you win. 

Anyway, to my roommate, I am so sorry I tried to Jack your shirts. I should have told your mom she forgot them but I wanted them so I said nothing and I am sorry. You didn’t deserve that and please forgive me. Thank you in advance.

Vonia Martin

SocietySucks

EspeciallyFredrick, CO.

By Vonia Martin. Copyright 2023

Not too long ago I worked for the little liquor store here in town. For some reason, no for a reason they paid me under the table, meaning they took nothing out in taxes or social security. I know they did not pay the gentleman that worked for them at the same time because I saw them had him a pay roll check. 

What I believe happened is that my “boyfriend” convinced him to do it this way 

so I wouldn’t have enough of a return to leave his ass. He probably paid the $985 it costs to file with the government when I had claimed 0 on my W2. 

I have no evidence to prove this suspicion except my checks and a few things my boss said that could not come from anyone other than my “boyfriend”. What it is that he tells people to get them to do these things is beyond me, other than money.

There is nothing I have done, I was a good employee, that would warrant this behavior yet here we are. People do love to hate me and all I have to do is show up.

This may sound paranoid and maybe I am but I swear me “boyfriend” wants to keep me dependent on him so I can’t get away.

Gluttony

Minimize The Government

I get that we have all these government agencies to protect us from ourselves but who is protecting us from our government? They want us to believe they know what is best for us when in fact they know nothing.

They are not what is best for us. We are suppose to be able to protect ourselves against any outside or inside threat. Lately, the police are as bad as mass shooters. I refer to them as legal criminals. Criminals that are legally committing crimes against its most vulnerable citizens, minorities. As a society we condone this behavior because we think it works, when in fact it is holding us back as a society. If we were really conscious we would stop this deployable behavior and really help those in need. They have been screaming for help for so long we don’t even hear their screams any more. 

The truth is quiet unless it is being ignored then it becomes what ever it has to be to get heard. If that means yelling at the top of my lungs so be it, I will yell.  If it means sacrificing myself for the truth so be it. All I want is to make life better for my people. My people are anyone who has ever been in the foster care system. Anyone who has been institutionalized including prison. Anyone who is homeless or incarcerated, any non violent criminal is my sister or brother. Some of you violent ones are too but I condemn any violence acted against another who is not violent themself.

Leave Trump alone, we had laws in place to keep our formal leaders out of jail. If we do this to him we have to go back as far as they are alive and press charges against all of them too because they can’t serve in office without breaking some laws. It’s why we exempt them while they are in office. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not condoning what he did but other presidents have done worse. Biden you to pardon him.