#ME3#

18 is The Scariest Age

by V. Martin 2018

 Most kids can't wait to turn eighteen it's a mile stone in a persons life. Legally you're an adult, responsible for yourself but some are still in high school having turned eighteen during the school year. Imagine being put out on the street on your birthday with no place to go and no way to get there. You have no cell phone, less than $100 to your name, no job, no family to turn to, nothing.  You don't even have a high school diploma or GED. When you're a child in the foster care system, everyday is scary, this doesn't happen to every child in the system but more often then not. You never know what to expect so you learn to expect the worst.
With that in mind, you're approaching your eightieth birthday finally legally an adult.  Your own person with ...?  You don't even have a drivers license, let alone a car. As soon as you turn eighteen, legally an adult, you no longer have a place to live.  The foster home you've been able to live with for the past six months or so can't afford to support you without the state's funds.  You weren't allowed to get a driver's license or work full time while in school.  The job you use to work after school is no longer available since it was passed on to a younger student.  You want to go to college or a trade school but that possibility fades along with everything you know.  No where to go no car to get there no family to reach out to no home to even go to, you don't even have a cell phone.  Odds are not in your favor, once on the street you do what you have to to survive, if you survive.

When a married couple gets a divorce and they have joint custody of their children who ever pays child support does so until they are nineteen.  Why then are foster children cut off, sometimes completely, from resources like a place to live?  It seems to me these kids don't stand a chance because they're not even given one.  I get not letting you drive because of the liability and insurance but can't some big automobile manufactures help out with that and assist in supplying discounted vehicles?  It takes a village so gather the villagers to care for these kids, collectively.  In the long run it will only serve to save them money and the crime rate would probably drop.  The drug epidemic would be over, society as a whole would heal.  We need to be our bothers keepers but not to keep him down instead we need to lift him up, collectively.  As a whole the children will be able to pick the best society has to offer be it the janitor at school or the CEO of the company that sponsors their transition from froster care to a message runner for a big Wall Street firm.  No car necessary but a valid ID, social security card, and a fast bicycle will be needed for your future.  At least now you have one. 

Maybe we should rename the "foster care system"  to the #Me3#.  Because take it from me when I tell you these kids know they have a voice but believe even if they are heard no one will listen.  Worse then that is the conditioning it takes to get you to believe the way you're being treated is normal.  Can you imagine believing it's normal to have your foster Dad slip into your bed every night to sexually assault you.  Before you can even think about telling anyone you're being called names of the worst kind, degrading you, conditioning you.  The foster care system is a predators dream come true.  There are people out there that don't want to abuse their own children, for obvious reason.  Maybe they would have to answer to the other parent or who knows, that's were you come in.  You prepped for your new role in your new family by constantly being reminded how lucky you are to have a family like theirs to take you in.  How some people are so mean and even abusive in the worst possible ways.  How grateful you must feel to them for everything they are doing for you as they slip some drug into your juice.  You know what comes next and more and more of the same.  Until you don't even know what day it is or wether it's day or night nor do you care.  You stopped doing that the first night.   

It happens so frequently it becomes the norm.  No, not just normal but expected.  So much so that any other kind of treatment makes you hurt so bad you can't even take a breath. When kindness has been absent from your life for so long any act of kindness is such a contrast from what is now normal it makes your head flip flop, your heart swallow, your throat beat, and your stomach spin.  It can literally save you or kill you! It's almost like starving but not from food but from humanity and too much at once will send you over the edge.
Anyway, a year more would make all the difference in the world for these kids. A year to get a drivers license, a phone, a car, a job, or get enrolled in college or trade school. My point being is that in most cities a car in absolutely necessary to get a job and/or go to school. 

TheOtherSideOfThePancake

No Matter How Flat The Pancake, it Still has Two Sides

 by V. Martin 2018

    This is to my adopted extended family, Halls, Martins, and others, by marriage. After 35 years my adopted mother found me. She had adopted me when I was 12 and she was 39 and single. They, DES, didn't normally let single people adopt but mine wasn't a normal case. Having been in the system for over six years and as many foster homes because the last one kept me for almost 3 years. Anyway, my adopted mother soon after met her future husband and that was the end of the beginning for me.

      Don't get me wrong, I knew it for what it was and maybe that's why Phyllis, my adopted mom, and Frank, who never adopted me, believe it was my choice not be part of the "family" anymore. The same reason people want to kill the messenger when the message isn't what they want to hear. There was nothing I could do about the decisions being made about me. I was only 14-15 years old. 
I didn't go out of my way to behave badly, I never did anything but what normal teenagers do. My Mom was being pressured by her new husband, your father, so she started building a history to support disowning me. If my Mom and Frank were planning on keeping me, his three daughters and I would have been introduced to one another. As it was, never, not in the three years they were married before I was disowned did I meet his kids. 

    Phyllis built a history by admitting me to the psych ward at Phoenix Camelback Hospital. The first time was understandable, I got caught shop lifting and couldn't face telling my Mom, I was so embarrassed. Rather then face her I decide killing myself was a better option. Never did it occur to me to run away. Funny but seriously, the thought never even entered my mind. My attempt was half assed, obviously, it failed and I was admitted to the hospital. There I stayed for two months where they never put me on any medications or diagnosed me with any disorders. I was fourteen and still a virgin and drugs were something I thought you got at the drug store. I hadn't even gotten drunk or had a sip of alcohol.

So doing drugs and/or drinking was not even on my list of things to do. As a matter of fact it wasn't until the second time she admitted me that I started smoking cigarettes. 

    For the second time she admitted me because the girl across the street from her house and I got drunk for the first time together. To this day I haven't had as much fun or laughed as much or as hard as I did when Kristian and I got drunk off her Grandma's booze. We road our bicycles all over the place but then couldn't find our way home so I called my Mom, Phyllis. The lady who was the Mother of some girl, I think Kristian knew, had to tell Mom where we were and she came and got us. It was before ten pm, my curfew, so I thought I was in the clear, as far as being in trouble was concerned. Not the case. Right back to the hospital the very next day for another two months. This time they diagnosed me with being emotionally handicapped. This was at Phyllis's insistence, needing something on record to explain what she does next.

Instead of bringing me home this time she transfers me to a residential treatment facility in south Phoenix. There I remained for eleven months, where they didn't know what to do with me having never done drugs, never had sex, and only been drunk once. The other girls were all alcoholics, drug addicts and/or prostitutes so the program was designed around these problems. So they came up with a program just for me, part of which was going to public school. Something they had never done before. All the kids went to school on grounds which was close to being home schooled but with the whole neighborhood. This place was located in South Phoenix some of the worst neighborhoods in Phoenix and I had to leave before dawn to get to the bus on time. Fourteen years old at three to four in the morning walking the streets in South Phoenix to catch a bus to go to high school at North high. 

     Eventually, they discharged me and I went home, where by this time I wasn't welcome. My curfew on the weekend was 10pm and all my friends were allowed to stay out until midnight. Being the mature young lady that I thought I was I called a family meeting and pitched my cause. Explaining how unfair it was and that none of my friends want to come home 2 hours early. They just weren't hearing me, so I asked if we could get counseling? 
Phyllis picked me up after school telling me we were going to DES to get counseling. That was just a ruse to get me to go along willingly. Frank was to meet us there, she said, when I asked. When we got there she led me to a room with a window next to the door. As soon as I was in the room she turned around and without a word left me there. I watched as she disappeared around the corner, stunned, not sure what to think, do, or feel. So I went to my default setting, no feeling, no caring, no nothing. JustNumb. This is a very brief, detached account of what happened because most likely you won't believe me anyway so why invest anymore?

     Hopefully, this clarifies things a little bit more. Of course, this is my perspective, these are my memories of what happened. Since it did happen to me, my memories are probably more accurate then Frank's or Phyllis's. They have good reason for remembering things the way they do and I'm not saying they are wrong. But they are wrong letting anyone believe I chose to leave home because that is simply not true. I never ran away from home! What the fuck? Adopt me, get married, disown me, then move your new husband's daughter in to take my place. Years later look me up just so you can blame me for what you did? 

Not to mention the fact that the last place anyone, who's been in the foster care system, wants to go, is go back into the system!!!!! This is a fact, ask anyone.
    

What were they hoping I'd forget?
If they think Grandma doesn't know that they, my parents, lied to get them, my grandparents, to disown me they are wrong; She knows.

          

scientific notation; Together, love is forever.

Together, love is forever! Hearts squared equal eternity!!!!

By Vonia Martin

I wasn't the first to think of the equation love squared equals eternity but I am the first to put it in scientific notation. 

I've decided on a compromise; heart squared equals eternity.

              The evolution of the equation in scientific notation cr2017

Thank you V. Martin 2018

No one will give me credit for this however, because it interferes with their idea of who I'm suppose to be. I'm suppose to be stupid poor white trailer trash without an original idea in my head.  So keep your stupid equation, I'll just redefine mine. Heart cubed equals eternity because children are our only form of immortality.

Okay, maybe I'm a little bitter!

This has been an evolutionary process. One that I have given birth to, raised, allowed to grow, listened to, understood its greatness, didn't over think mine, and so came fouth its true meaning. Together, love is forever! Meaning if we would as awhole decide to love one another even if we don't understand each other, might be able to at least tolorate each other.  Differences are what makes a curious about what we don't know similarities are what makes those differences a conection instead of a disagreementcelebrated its individuality, 

B&L or Brad's Tire and Repair in Frederick

If you notice I had low profile tires before but now they are normal. I believe this was intentional so I wouldn't notice the space left by putting smaller rims in back.

The tires I had before Brad's/B&L or whatever their name is were P235/55R16 and P215/60R16, I believe but could be wrong but I know for a fact before I had them tow it while it was still running the rims and tire on the back were bigger because I switched them since the front one had a chunk missing from the rim and several cuts in the tire and the rear is lighter. I thought it would be safer since I was driving on it but the back one was visibly larger when switched with the front so put them back. Also if I had had these cheap faux rims that I have now thanks to Brad's or B&L when the car theives drove it into the building it would have fallen apart just like it's doing now though I've hit nothing. 

The biggest chunk missing is at the top and at an angle it looks more like a balancing weight but in the top pic you can see it better on the side.

These are the wheels I had before B&L Tire and repair

I also had larger tires in the back because it was an option at the time

After B&L I have cheap rims all the same size.

 Not only do I have different cheaper rims my engine, which was just rebuilt, leaks oil all over the place. Not to mention it doesn't handle the same.

                                      
To clarify; My 2001 Camaro was stolen, in police chase, then drove into a building. I finally got it back in 2015, drove it for about 3-4 months then it wouldn't start and it sat for almost a year. My Mom said she would help get it fixed so I called B&L here in Frederick to tow it to their garage, which they did. I needed it to start and I needed a new tire and rim since the one on the passenger side front was missing a chunk from the rim and there were several cuts in tire.  I had low profile tires which was an option for the V8 even though I have a V6 plus bigger rims and tires in the back.
I have pictures of the engine before B&L but I'm having trouble locating them but will add as soon as I do.

I'm just a little pissed off by all this. As if having the car stolen once wasn't bad enough, now I feel as though it's been stolen all over again.

I'm not some spoiled brat that has everything handed to me, I've had to work hard for the little bit I have. As you can see I've done most of the cosmetic work myself but the engine and tires and one wheel I trusted B&L/Brad's to take care of. My adopted Mother had just found me after 35 years and her first kind act was to pay them to rip me off. Shame on all of them!!!!!Shame on all you over there at B&L/Brad's, I should of been suspicious when they had two names for the same business.

Here are some pictures of the receipt she gave me. Keep in mind that my Mom paid and this was ready for me when I picked up my car. Also, the reason why it took me so long to realize what they had done is; one I trusted them to be a reputable business so I didn't think they would do something like this. Two; they hid it well by changing from low profile to regular tires so it went unnoticed until I had them rotate the tires.

This is exactly the way I received the receipt from Laura.

Who could read this? I can't and I believe that's the whole point.

Never did they offer me my old rim, even though I have no spare.

I believe they repaired it and sold all 4 as a set, worth over $3,000.

If anyone can read this, please, let me know what it says because all I can make out is"your fucked".

I will continue to look for more pictures and post them as I find them but seriously don't take your car to them before you take pictures of every inch to compare to when you get it back.

The first picture is after B&L the second is before B&L just the rims and tires is all I'm concerned with.

This is a picture after I tried to rotate the tires putting the chipped rim and cut tire in the back. 

COURAGE

Courage has a New Name: Corey Feldman

                                                                 By V. Martin 2017

         Besides the countless movies and t.v. shows you've done over the years, you're legacy will be what you're doing now. You are by far the bravest person I've never known but known of. You stood up and spoke out about something most people ignore, even victims. Being one myself, I know how easy it is to just pretend like it never happened. I'm very aware of how easy it is to block it completely out, much easier then dealing with it. I can't even type the word, let alone say it; molested. There I did it! I'm extremely sorry for the doubt you suffered for so long and admire you for standing your ground, even when they wouldn't give you any. There is nothing more infuriating then trying to help but no-one will listen or believe you! You are a true advocate for those who no longer have a voice and/or  haven't found theirs yet. It's about time you stop standing alone, there are too many of us, unfortunately. You have my admiration and appreciation, you are a true, live, hero that I hope will never be questioned again about your integrity and/or honesty. Micheal Jackson is lucky to have you as a friend, especially since he's no longer able to defend himself.
          To update this post, I watch Dr. Phil with Mr. Feldman and his beautiful wife some days after I initially wrote the above. That was some time ago but I had not forgotten what an angel Mr. Feldman's wife looks like and I just know she is on the inside as well.

Another really brave soul is the black man on Criminal Minds, Derek is his characters name. What a hunk of a man and to put it all out there like that was amazing. I have no idea if he went through anything for real as a child or not but now he has to the rest of the world and that takes courage like I cannot believe. What a gift he has given to the victims to come. Of course no victims would be preferable but let's face it... 

         

Only For You

Only For You

By V. Martin copyright 1984

Empty chairs scattered across the vast lawn

Dreams of the past are dead and gone

Only for you only for you do I dream

Only for you do I live it would seem

You were suppose to stay and watch us grow

Now time tells me you I shall never know

Only for you only for you is my heart

Only for you do I keep from falling apart

Where have all the years gone to?

Where do all the years end?

Why couldn’t you stay and love us be our friend?

Only for you only for you do I suffer and cry

Only for you do I laugh and some how get by

Should I keep on hoping someday I’ll find you?

Or should I find someone else to help me through?

Through this cruel unjust world that I love?

Or should I help myself rise above

Only for me only for me do I sleep at night

Only for me do I awaken to darkness and wait for the light.

ROH2O

Reverse Osmosis

The Best Water Filtration System 

                                                                      By V. Martin  

My friend Bernard Pracko told me when I was 19 that reverse osmosis was the best water filtration system on the planet.  As with most things he told me I believed him and have always tried to drink water that was filtered through this process.  It wasn't until a few years ago that it's greatness has expanded way beyond just drinking good clean water.
All car washes offer a spot free rinse all that is is ROH2O that's why it comes out so slow. Most laundry mats have ROH2O systems for the whole building. All the HE washers have their own on board filtration system, I think are Reverse Osmosis. That is why you only need a fraction of the soap. 

At first I noticed how great it was for cleaning glass.  I was waiting for my boss to come open and got bored so started cleaning the windows using water from a bottle I found in my car.  It was soon after that a bird tried to fly through thinking there was nothing there the glass was so clean and clear.

My boss asked me how I got it so clean and at the time I honestly didn't know.  It took my a couple of days to put two and two together and even then I didn't fully embrace the power of roh2o.  As a matter of fact that was over 6 years ago and only the last two have I been applying to everything that requires water.  I even rinse all my clothes, the dogs drink only roh2o, rinse them with it also, I clean everything with it.  I work for a professional cleaning company where I clean offices at night.  Before leaving I spray all surfaces with roh2o and it sparkles the next day.  Better still everything stays cleaner longer, it's like roh2o rapels dirt!  Amazing!  Check it out for yourself but it's one of the best kept secrets of jewelers, car dealers, carpet cleaners, high end stores, spot free car wash rinse is purified water, and beauty salons use it to wash your hair.  Have you ever noticed how your hair looks so good after you get your hair done but never after that?  It's not because over night your hair grew in such a way it will never again look like it did when you eft the salon, that is until your next visit.

I believe but have no proof that some veggie cleaner maybe mostly roh2o or some kind of purified water.  The same with some pet enzyme cleaners.  Also, those after the shower cleaners that automatically spray your shower after your shower is mostly ROH2O.  

All I'm saying is that before you throw it away or pay a small fortune to have it cleaned try roh2o on it first it may surprise you.  It works great for diluting any concentrated cleaners, they will work better, take less, and go further.  There is nothing greener on the planet so it's completely earth friendly leaving nothing behind.  Any surface wiped with roh2o is so clean it's slick and things slide across it very easily so beware and be careful.  It's great to use on floors but be careful no-one slips and falls.

If Bill Gates or that Amazon guy reads this and need a great way to spend your money that would benefit mankind more than anything install roh2o water filtration systems in every building that has running water.  Starting with public buildings like schools, social services, and the like.

I believe this system alone may lead to better health for all and if nothing else clean sparkling buildings.
Recently, my ex, asked me what the difference is in water filtration systems? I had to think for a moment. Why is ROH2O the best water filtration system, he asked? Still thinking. Then it occurred to me; osmosis. Osmosis is a natural phenomenon so it recognizes this process and prefers it to the others. Of course, this is with the understanding that water has a memory.

Continuing with the above; I believe those that use a Cpap machine should definitely be using ROH2O in their machines. At the very least you shouldn't have to clean your mask as often but I believe you won't have to at all. It is all about the water, people.
I've come to believe all those cleaning wipes are all ROH2O and some fragrance for scent affect. When ROH2O is a natural odor eliminator even without the added scent. Baby wipes for sure are mostly ROH2O and if it can clean poop off a babies bottom and not take skin with it is amazing! I know for a fact that you can remove tar from your car with baby wipes. I use to think you had to use oil of some kind to remove sticky stuff but I think ROH2O would do it.
The people pushing steam to clean are getting close but really you don't even have to risk steam to really clean. Forget everything you've been taught about clean because it's bullshit. All you really need is ROH2O, time, and maybe elbow grease (which means you might have scrub a little) but the pure water will take it off. Even sticky crap left behind by duct tape and/or stickers will come off you just have to keep rubbing until it does. Your drains will stay clear and flowing if you dump ROH2O down them periodically. But I challenge anyone who doesn't believe me to at least brush their teeth with it for 30 days. That means no tap water brush and rinse with pure ROH2O and keep running your tongue over your teeth before you brush and after. If you can't tell a difference you already have an ROH2O system for your house or you’re lying.
Things stay wetter longer and cleaner because I swear ROH2O rapels dirt!!!! I have a spray bottle full of ROH2O and after I shower I spray myself down with it and I don't even feel cold. It is by far the most amazing, under rated substance on the planet and we treat it like shit.

I turned 51 in July and this is me, can you believe it?

I recently went to the Dr. had a physical and blood work done with no problems, all in normal range. (whatever that is) 

I have always tried to eat clean healthy food, the fewer the ingredients the better. Stay away from ingredients I can't pronounce buy whole foods as much as possible. However, I love real butter and bacon but I try to walk a mile a day.

Drink ROH2O and if possible bath, cook, and clean with it. The only place I use any chemicals is in the toilet! Other wise it's pure water clean which not even Osha can find anything wrong with. I think if Osha knows you have an ROH2O system for the whole building they don't even bother visiting your establishment. Bugs hate it because they slide right off same with rodents, they will avoid surfaces they can't walk or crawl across. There just isn't any problem it can't solve or lessen if given the chance. The land fills won't fill up so fast because things will last longer, look at me. Technically I should be dead and would be if it weren't for the pure water and some really amazing people.