InMyExperience

 We Have It All Wrong

   By Vonia Martin

         For most people it is hard to imagine having to choose between committing crimes or becoming a drug addict. Yes doing drugs is against the law but one the user inflicts on themself not others.  When most of society has turned its back on you where do you turn? To whom ever will take you in; criminals.

The only way they will let you in their world is if they can trust you and they only trust other criminals. The only way to be a criminal but not commit crimes against others is to do drugs. I know it sounds kinda crazy but survival is the key so without even really thinking about it you do what you have to. It may not make sense to the sober mind but the altered one gets it. It’s like you have to sacrifice yourself to save yourself. Not everyone in the foster care system does drugs but I can understand why if they do. When you end up on the street, if you age out or run away, you are faced with some confusing decisions to make.

No one wants you except to use you for whatever they think you are good for; sex, drug running or dealing, violence, thief, human trafficking, or worse. None of which you want to do so you act so stupid and happily confused all you’re good for is doing drugs and having sex. Which mostly hurts you because everyone else has forsaken you for no other reason then the potential you might hurt them because that’s what foster kids do. All you have to do is look at the statistics to know they are just criminals in the making. The reason people believe this is because the average foster kid is conditioned to take the blame for everything, even shit they didn’t do, mostly shit they didn’t do. It maybe hard to imagine, for most people, being in a situation that false confessions are expected of you then used against you like they are real. You are told that you are doing the right thing the only thing that gives you any value at all. Cops love foster kids because they confess to what ever they want so they can close the cases where they or someone they know actually committed the crime. Some criminals use foster kids the same way because they can. Once the case is closed they are in the clear for that crime. It’s too easy to get these kids to falsely confess because they have nothing and are going no where so it gives them something to almost feel proud of. Society has never done anything for them so leaving criminals on the street because they took the fall doesn’t bother them too much. At least in prison they are safe and off the street, they get three meals, a bed, a roof over their head and can stay sober. Most other inmates leave you alone because you never get a visitor, letter, or phone call, no one puts money on your books.

Your life expectancy is way shorter then everyone else’s because you get an automatic DNR without asking you because no loved ones to say any different. Most of the deaths are deemed suicide wether it really was or not because no one cares how you really died. I mean, why wouldn’t you kill yourself when you have no reason to live? You are a scape goat for the worst of us and no one cares that you are innocent because no one cares wether you live or die. Through out you life people have tried to get you to do potentially hazardous things, some even deadly, which makes survival even harder. Over the years, you couldn’t help but developed a sixth sense about these harmful people and the situations they tried to put you in so you wouldn’t survive.   Then there is life itself seems to want you here because you keep surviving even when you don’t want to.